Don't hold yourself back.

This will be my first post since my introduction. Well ... not really. I've done one post since then, but I deleted it soon after posting it. I was so nervous that it wasn't good enough, or it wasn't long enough. I checked the grammar a million and one times trying to make it perfect. I stressed over if it was engaging; if anyone would read it.
I let those worries eat at me to the point that I was paralyzed. Every time I tried to write a post I would feel this wave of anxiety rush over me. So I would back away from the keyboard and forget about blogging for a few days. Then something would make me think ... WOAH I should blog about this. 
And the cycle would start over again.
Recently I've had this push to .. just do it. Start writing, see where it takes me. If the post is boring or terrible people will probably just ignore it and move on with their day. But if I don't post at all I won't get any better. 
So here I am writing a blog, seeing where it'll take me. My goal is to try and post each week, whether the post is short, or boring. I'll write it, edit it, and post it. Then I'll move onto the next thing. I won't sit and dwell on my mistakes, or the possibility of someone not liking what I have to say. Because if I live in constant fear of someone disagreeing with me I may never speak again.

While I'm on the subject of just doing things, and not over thinking them; I may as well tell you where this sudden push is coming from. 
We recently had to put my cat down. The cat my mother recently posted about. He wasn't getting better, and his quality of life was compromised. The veterinarians did everything they could but they couldn't stabilize him. So last night we made the decision to put him down. 
I stayed with him the whole time, petting him and comforting him until he stopped breathing. I am going to miss him of course, but I'm not devastated in the way I thought I'd be. I've decided to take a lesson from him.
I'm going to live my life in the best way I can. No second guessing and giving my love every chance I get. I began applying this lesson last night, when I decided I needed to paint. (Something I tend to over plan) So I painted, I just did it, and I felt satisfied. I'm also completing a sewing project today, and reading a comic my dad gave me. I'm not going to over think a crazy detailed schedule for my day, as I am wont to do. I'm going to do what I feel I want to in the moment I'd like to do it. 
I'm doing this even now, as I write this blog.
I'm just going to do it, and I will be satisfied. 

A Simpler Way to Organize

As 2014 drew to a close I began to see pins, blog posts and facebook feeds about decluttering and organizing in 2015. Much of the organization was designed around the idea of tackling a small (something under 1 hour) task each and every day. This is a GREAT idea, but as we all know by now I have a hard time staying on track and missing a day or 10 would make me feel overwhelmed and even a bit like a failure.  Then this caught my eye.

Victoria's idea seems so much more doable. To list out 52 things that can be accomplished simply by devoting a small amount of time to it each week.  So I have decided to give her little challenge a try, but in my own way. I am not going to list out 52 projects (because it is already the middle of January) instead I have gone room to room to list the projects I want to accomplish to declutter. I will be done when I can walk through my home and NOT feel the need to declutter. 

A home that is often messy is a sign of 1 of 2 problems. Problem 1: Too much stuff. If one has too much stuff then it tends to pile up. Problem 2: Too Little Space. If you have limited space then you have to decide is owning this item and giving up the precious real estate it is going to take up worth the item? 

OK so there is one more possibility, that you have problem 1 and problem 2. In my 2000 square foot (living space not counting that same amount of non-living space) I do not have enough storage solutions and space AND I have too much stuff. I am an organize out, while Lu is an organize in.

Organize out means I like (need) to be able to see what I have, but I do want it to be organized. Organize in means that Lu doesn't want to see anything, but she wants where it is stored out of sight to be neat and easily accessible. 

I also really, really like Victoria's rules, but I have to be Tree (Thank you Gretchen Rubin author of The Happiness Project) so I have set up my OWN rules:

One Week at a Time To A Simplified/Organized Home 

•  I can move ahead in my weekly list and the order the tasks are listed in is not the order I am moving through them. I will list what works for me. 
• I will only save those items for resale if they will likely sell in my neighborhood garage sale the first weekend of June (rain date to apply). Victoria set a value for the items to be sold, but since I simply want the items to go to a good home I am pricing my items low $1 for most items. I do want to find a local thrift store that is NOT a VOA, Goodwill or Salvation Army Affiliate. (If anyone in my area knows of an independent thrift store that would accept good quality used items please let me know.) After my garage sale everything that does not sell is going straight to charity. I also know from experience that a garage sale with too many little items feels cluttered and overwhelming so I am going to make an effort to get rid of the little things as I go and not hold onto them. There will be no nickel boxes at my garage sale. 
• I am setting up an area in the basement (as part of my office) for garage sale items. I do like this part of Victoria's rules: "I plan to date items with a sticky note when I place them in these boxes. I will go through them at the end of each month and any item that have been in them for longer than 4 weeks must be sold that very day, or it is off to the thrift store they go. No exceptions no matter what the value of the item." However, I plan to list items regularly on a Facebook page that I am part of. Those items will be up for sale on the FB page for two weeks. At the end of the two weeks they will get tagged for my community garage sale. At the end of my community garage sale EVERYTHING that didn't sell will go to charity. 
• Victoria's approach to look at the items as if she was moving is one that I can completely embrace, but I am going to ask myself when the last time I used the item, when I can use the item and is there something else I can substitute?
• Like Victoria I need to respect the stage of life I am in. To this end I want to set a deadline on the items that I plan to use or craft with. Ideally I am setting a one month time frame. If within one month's time I have not found the time to craft with the item I am going to immediately donate it. I am not allowing myself to keep those items for garage sale purposes because I feel that I would not truly be decluttering and organizing. 

I also like that Victoria is keeping herself accountable by posting weekly about her attempts and successes, so I plan to join her in that regard. I will be posting about my weekly attempt to declutter and organize on Tuesdays. I will also link to her weekly post so if you are interested you can see how she is doing as well. Here is my current weekly list, room by room:

Living Room:

1. Television Cabinet and Wii Game Basket

Kitchen:

2. Fridge/Freezer
3. Oven
4. White Rolling Cabinet
5. Built in Cabinets/Drawers
6. Baker's Rack

Breakfast Nook
7. Wire Rack #1
8. Wooden Rack
9. Wire Rack #2

Down Bathroom
10. Broken Chairs
11. Boxes

Dinning Room
12. Hutch
13. Display Case
14. Mantel and Bookcases
15. Table

Bedroom
16. My nightstand and corner   Completed 1/26/2014 
17. Top of dresser
18. Hub's nightstand and corner
Closet
19. Shelves
20. Laundry Basket
21. Milk crate
22. Rubbermade Tote
23. Briar Berry Bear's Basket

Up Office
24. Craft Table
25. Craft Bookcase
26. Boxes in front of Window #1
27. Dad's Bookcase
28. Boxes in front of Dad's Bookcase
29. Boxes in front of Window #2
30. Top of Desk
31. Under/in front of Desk
32. Shelf above hanging rod
33. Hanging Rod
34. Under Hanging Rod

35. Linen Closet

36. Stairwell Closet

37. Entry Closet

Front Porch
38. Exterior Wall Side
39. Interior Wall Side
40. Far Wall Side

Basement
41. E. Corner
42. W. Corner
43. N. Corner
44. S. Corner
45. Laundry Area
46. Chest Freezer

Basement Office
47. Desk Side
48. Sink Side

Attic
49. Attic Eve Storage
50. Attic Open Storage

This list can be edited as needed, adding items as I find them. While I will be posting new posts on my progress every Tuesday, I will be keeping tabs on this page with dates things are complete. Additionally, while I was looking for things to clean/organize/declutter in each room I could have also listed off items to be improved/repaired and I think I will start that list in pink in a new column and see how many tasks I come up with for that. The repair/improvement projects however are completely dependent on the financial situation at the time of the improvements. 

So what do you think? Do you want to join us?

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men......

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry... (Of Mice and Men, Steinbeck, John) that is the story of my life.  That is especially the story of my weekend. A few weeks ago I noticed that my baby puma (we have a 22 pound, but not overweight just a very large and long cat) seemed not to be eating his food. He was still very active and loving. I figured that he was being finicky, after all the finicky nature of cats is legendary. A cat food launched an empire based on the discriminating nature of felines. 

So after a week of his not eating I decided to see if it was in fact the food. He had lost some weight (down nearly 8 pounds when I weighed him), so I visited my favorite local pet store PetSaver and picked up the uber expensive brand of food that my cats had been eating. I bought 2 small bags of 2 flavors of this food. Now keep in mind that we feed our cats well. I avoid grains in their foods and when possible I try to keep the food to high quality. The food they were eating was Acana brand cat foods which they loved. The food sky rocketed to $60ish a big bag. With my being unemployed I selected an acceptable brand that was around $30 for the same size bag.  

At first the expensive favorite brand of food did the trick. For 3 days he was eating, but then he stopped eating and then there was rapid weight loss. I changed the flavor and he was still disinterested. He was down 5 pounds in a week. The hubs was very concerned because he was starting to look very thin and not acting his usual self (tired, lethargic, etc.) so he asked me to make a vet appointment.

Friday afternoon at 2 p.m. I headed over to the Rochester Community Animal Clinic. The staff, vet techs and vet were all very compassionate. They got Twiz in quickly.  Based on the Vet's examination she suspected a lung issue. She was able to do a lung tap and fiv test.  The lung tap and the fiv test came up negative. The recommendation was to head over to Irondequoit Animal Hospital for x-rays.  The x-rays confirmed no fluid in his lungs. The staff at Irondequoit gave Twiz some O2 and prednisone. The recommendation was for some blood work a CBC (complete blood count) and another test as well as a primary diagnosis of Asthma.  We were sent home with the hopes of results on Monday (a holiday).

Friday evening did not go great, but Saturday was even worse.  Twiz did eat small amounts, but he had several seizures with loss of bladder control. Each of the seizures was preceded by rapid breathing. What really helped was that the vet herself called us Saturday afternoon to check on Twiz and deliver the first of the test results. Nothing in those to help us. 

We spent a very long Saturday with Twiz worrying and watching.  I woke up this morning somewhat concerned (I was fully expecting that Twiz did not make it through the night).  Instead I found him standing eating his food. He spent almost all of Saturday sitting on his blanket in the chair and only eating small amounts (1 tsp) while laying in the chair. When I explored the litter box (the other two cats were upstairs all night long) I found evidence of pee. This means, despite our bringing one litter box to the floor he was staying on, he went all the way down to the basement, peed and returned to his chair. Saturday he did make the trek to the litter box in the basement, but after a very long and difficult pee he was unable to make it back up the stairs. 

He flopped over on the floor in front of the steps and let out a miserable meow. I carried him back up stairs to his chair where he had a seizure.  Today he is eating well. We may be looking at a lifetime (his) of medication, but he is looking good today. 

However, I have to give in and admit that I am sick. I have been sneezing more than the usual for the past few weeks, but I woke up this morning with a non-stop running nose, chills and still tired. I am sure the stress of Twiz's ordeal could have pushed me over the edge, but today is a day for me to sit and relax. 

Please know that I have never received any compensation from Arcana, Rochester Community Animal Clinic and/or Irondequoit Animal Hospital. I am sharing my experiences because I believe they gave me great customer service. 

My To Do List

This is my current "To Do List":

Launder the Sheets

 Clean Out the Clutter in the Powder Room


Clean Out the Clutter in my Up Office

 

Set Up a Functioning Down Office

   

Dishes:

Laundry

Clear Off Dinning Table so it can be used for Dinners

This is a long to do list and it is not intended to be a list that can be completed in a single day. Instead it is a list of items that I want to focus on until they are completed.  I will update and adjust my to do list daily, possibly even hourly.  

The point of a to do list for me is to have a guide for what I want to focus on, something to help keep me on track. I have heard over the years that for women in particular the longer the paper used to write the to do list on the longer the to do list. For many people it is important to keep the to do list short and simple. Something that can be achieved, something that can be checked off and completed. A sense of accomplishment. 

A long to do list is overwhelming. Even for me. I am willing to be flexible and adjust as needed. 

This morning I thought I would start with my downstairs office. The bulb burned out last week and I decided to find a replacement.

Search as I might I could only find bulbs intended for decorative candle lights or one single light for this lamp:

So I decided to be flexible, the bulb broke more than 3 years ago. I don't even remember how it broke. I think I was changing the sheets and maybe flicked the comforter to hard causing the bulb to smash into the ceiling.  I left it alone because changing it meant to much work. Well today I decided to simply do it. I unplugged the light and used a pair of pliers to removed the base of the bulb. All the glass was gone or I would have tried the potato trick. It took me less than 60 seconds to remove the old bulb base.  I replaced the bulb and while I was up there I noticed how dirty the top of the lamp was so I quickly dusted it off. 

Then it made sense for me to change the sheets and launder the old ones. So less than 5 minutes later I had changed a bulb that had been broken for years and a freshly made bed to boot. 

Now I am not super happy with my bedding, but it keeps us warm at night. The purple and grey comforter is what we registered for more than 15 years ago. I dream of fresh brightly colored comforters and sheets. I dream of soft organic cotton sheets. I have a plan but that plan will simply have to wait, because there are other projects that need to be completed and hey the comforter and blankets currently work. 

Back to my to do list. I took the two candle bulbs down to my basement office and decided I would give them a try, then I remembered I had a floor lamp in there that had a bulb in it. So I swapped that bulb. The problem I had been struggling with in the basement office is the lack of an outlet.......

Look what I found when I changed the light bulb:

An outlet! I have a surge bar that I think I can work into the ceiling to allow me to plug in an additional floor lamp, a space heater for the winter and run my laptop. Now I need to get on to the organization of the space. I know this won't be a single day project (or maybe it will). (I did string up the surge protector but when I plugged in the space heater and the radio is tripped the switch, so I still need a solution to being able to power the space.)

I made some progress in the basement office. It is not done, but progress was made. 

The dishes have been washed, dryed and put away, just in time to make new dishes for dinner. If I am really motivated I will wash, dry and put away the dishes after dinner. 
                 

2015 Post Resolutions

For the past several years I have tried to find a way to make resolutions I could keep, then I did away with them all together.

The reason many people fail (including myself) when setting resolutions is that they set resolutions that are too big.  Setting achievable resolutions or goals runs counter to my belief that "You shoot for the moon because even if you fail you land among the stars"

The reality is that big dream, big goals and big resolutions are not the problem. The problem is a failure to plan. Fail to plan = plan to fail.  The bigger the dream the more important it is to break that down into smaller achievable steps.  It is also important to remember that you only fail to reach your goals when you STOP trying to reach them. No matter how many times you fall backwards or feel like you are stagnant you only fail if you let those things stop you. If you look at them as challenges to overcome or road blocks put in your path to cause you to stop and think or reevaluate. 

Beyond setting goals is the willingness to reevaluate and change those goals. Maybe on New Year's Eve you set your goal that you want to lose 40 pounds but later in the year you are down 25 pounds and you feel great maybe you reevaluate. How important is it to you to be down 40 pounds? Why did you want to lose the 40 pounds in the first place? Have you achieved those goals (feeling better, more energy, less aches and pains) without reaching that specific 40 pound goal?

Last year instead of resolutions my youngest daughter and I made vision boards. I was inspired to make a vision board by Sheila Kennedy, The Confidence Coach. A vision board is different than setting specific goals. Instead you set ideas or intentions. Mine for 2014 were to "live well", "love life", "simplicity", "family", "organized"... You can read more about my 2014 intentions in this post, this weekend the girls and I will be creating intention boards for 2015.  I had wanted to do these boards the first weekend in 2015, but time just wasn't cooperating with me.  Instead of focusing on getting the boards done I enjoyed the time and activities I had planned and available to me. 

Sunday Morning Pancakes!

I used to make all sorts of yummy breakfast treats; giant cinnamon rolls, pancakes, waffles, omelets, and french toast. When I went back to work making breakfast baked goods sort of just fell to the way side. Then the girls and I went gluten free, and Lulu eventually went grain free. 

Gluten Free baking is tough and Grain Free baking is even tougher without accounting for the COST of gluten free baking. For those of you who don't know what gluten is, it is a protein in wheat (and other things) that binds. This is what makes your bread fluffy without falling apart. 

After several Gluten Free Baking Fails I gave up. I figured life would just have to go on without bread and pancakes. I would search out Gluten Free and Grain Free recipes that had reviews and think "maybe some day". The problem I found is that MANY of those recipes called for a ton of eggs. Now I have nothing against eggs or honey. But a pancake recipe that has 5 eggs in it!? Those pancakes tasted like pumpkin scrambles eggs.... there had to be a better way.

For Christmas 2014 I purchased a couple of "cookbooks" for Lulu. She had really been getting into Gluten Free baking, and doing quite well at it. 

Then a few weekends ago Thia had a friend over for a sleepover and I wanted to make good pancakes. I made the friend normal pancakes (because she is a super picky eater if it is not white and a sugar/starch she doesn't eat it), but I wanted something for Thia. So I searched the cookbooks and I found a Vegan Pancake Recipe that could be Gluten Free or Grain Free. HAPPY DANCE!

 This is MORE than a cookbook, it is  "GUIDE".  From the beginning intro to the tips in each recipe this book will teach any skill level the ins and outs of Gluten Free and even Grain Free baking.  You decide what flour you want to use (or combination thereof) and go from there. This edition is The Essential Gluten-Free Baking Guide: Part 2 Learn How to Use Sweet Rice, Sorghum, Buckwheat, Teft, Cassava and Potato Flour in 50+ Recipes the Authors are Brittany Angell and Iris Higgins. Ms Angell has a website with a ton of recipes on it, and she does a great job of detailing those recipes, but I still think Part 1 and Part 2 are the way to go if you are just starting or in need of some serious help the way I was.

But I digress, back to the Sunday Morning Pancakes.

Since I had failed so many times before at MANY Gluten Free and Grain Free recipes I followed the recipe to a T (confession I did not read ALL of the tips, which you really should before you begin).

For this recipe you choose your flour from the flours suggested. The guide tells you the pros and cons of various types of flours. "Almond flour makes the best pancakes, hands down!" p.144

The recipe also gives the flour and starch measurements in cups and grams. I have a food scale and I had read from a number of sources that weight and not volume was the way to go in gluten/grain free baked goods. Although the Guide has a little something different to say on the matter: "If weight is so important then why do we include volume measurements? It's because we both use volume in our own baking. We keep track of our weight measurements so that we can reproduce recipes exactly from one time to the next. But when we're substituting one flour for another, we have found volume measurements work better for us. We know this is different from what most people will tell you, so let us explain."

The first Chapter is "How to Use This Book" and it discusses different types and brands of flours, as well as sugar alternatives and the things you need to know when using different flours or sugars. This really is a complete guide and is almost like having the authors in the kitchen with you training you.

I chose Almond Flour and Potato Starch because, according to the Guide those were the two to use. I weighed them out. Keep in mind when you work with starch they are very light so they can create a big mess. They also like to stick to the bowl or measuring device so I use a rubber spatula to scrap them into my mixing bowl. While the guide tells you that any mild flavored oil can be used, I used olive oil because that is what I use. I used applesauce and coconut sugar this time around. Since I always spice my pancakes I added freshly grated nutmeg and cinnamon and a dash of clove. 

The consistency was nothing like pancake batter. It was stiff and not runny. I used a Pampered Chef large cookie scoop (about 3 Tablespoon size) to measure out my pancakes (because I like uniformity). Once scooped into my pre-heated cast iron pan (which had coconut oil in it) I used the rubber spatula to squish them down a bit. 

I patiently nervously waited. I had gotten to this point a number of times before. Everything looks good, but then when you go to flip the pancakes it is a disaster. Either they stick to your well oiled surface or they just fall apart. 

These pancakes take time, about 2 minutes on each side to get the crispy outside. The good news is if you under cook these there is nothing in them that is potentially dangerous. 

This was the result

A crispy outside and a soft FLUFFY inside! They even tasted like real pancakes. I tried some, Lulu tried some and Thia LOVED them!

I topped them with Chia Chai Apple Compote:

Chop up a couple of apples, I used 4. I peeled my apples because they are cold storage apples which makes for tough skins, but in the fall when they are fresh I would use them skin and all. That is just a preference. Then I added roughly 1 cup of brewed Chai tea and let them cook together for about 10 minutes. As the apples warmed they become soft and let out some of their juices. You could stop there, but I am a super food junkie so I added 1 Tbsp of Chia seeds to the liquid and let that set up. I do not use ground Chia seeds, just whole ones. I also added 1 Tbsp of Coconut Sugar. 

This recipe was so good it was requested by Lulu for dinner at Grandmas where everyone else was having pizza (I picked up a Gluten Free/Dairy Free Daiya pizza for Thia and I, but since that has rice flour in it Lulu doesn't eat it). 

When I went to make them again for Lulu I realized (as she often does) she ate all the applesauce. Now this is where the confession that I didn't read all the tips and hints BEFORE making the recipe comes in. I had canned pumpkin in the house and I thought it was worth a shot to swap out one puree for another. I now had Pumpkin Spice Pancakes. Lulu loved them and I have made those again for both girls. "For the applesauce you can try using any puree. Banana, sweet potatoes and pumpkin work well." p 145

There was a request to make these chocolaty, so I added 3 heaping tablespoons of cocoa powder and an additional tablespoon of coconut sugar. The first time I made the recipe I used coconut milk (because I had it), the second time I used the left over "water" from a can of coconut cream, and after that I have used water for every recipe. I recommend making this strictly according to the directions before you play with it. It is important to know the consistency of the batter so that when you vary the recipe with say cocoa you can add extra water (which was needed).  The chocolate version was simply topped with some coconut oil and heated fruit preserves and everyone has loved them.

This morning I made them with home made almond "flour".  This was the remnants of my making almond milk in order to make dairy free egg nog.  After I soaked the almonds and the pureed them in the blend the mixture is strained and the pulp is spread out on a sheet of parchment on a cookie sheet. I let that air dry for 2-3 days and then I put it in the oven on warm (175 degree or so) for 4 hours. After that it set out for a week or so more. Then last night Lulu used the food processor to make flour and we put that in the fridge. 

I measured that out, but I didn't have enough. I was 30 grams shy. Since these pancakes were for Lulu using the Teft or Sorghum flour I had was not an option. We thought about Quinoa but decided to risk using coconut flour. The guide tells you that coconut flour does not work in this recipe and as a main flour that may be correct. The other change I made was to use coconut flour. I heated it to a liquid state and measured it out, but as soon as it hit the cold pumpkin puree and cold water it solidified and I was not happy with it. I will continue to use olive oil. The coconut oil did not damage the batter, it was just lumpy in the batter. Due to the addition of coconut flour I had to add almost the maximum amount of liquid called for in the recipe.  I added water to get the batter to the consistency I knew it should be from previous attempts. 

The results were spot on. The resulting pancake was a bit chewier but still crisp outside and fluffy inside. These I topped with butter and pumpkin puree with some coconut sugar (heated to combine) and Lulu topped hers with coconut oil and preserves. Overall a pancake win! I plan on trying some different flours with Thia (but this makes a Grain Free pancake Lulu can have). I also want to play with the starches, try a few different ones and even reduce the starch if possible. 

Happy New Year! 20!5

Today was the first day of 20!5 and I enjoyed it.  But let's back track to how we rang in the New Year:

With homemade dairy free cocoa and grain free pumpkin cake:

The girls and I made it to midnight. We watched some Star Trek the Next Generation with the hubs, and then The Princess Bride. Unfortunately for the hubs about 2/3 of the way through The Princess Bride he had to head to bed to deal with his headache. 
The girls and I choose to watch Ice Age after that and finished out with some David Letterman. 

I woke up (late) and managed to finally put Christmas 2014 away:

In putting away all the Christmas stuff I managed to consolidate down and eliminated two boxes. The tree is still standing in the corner, but hopefully the hubs and I will be able to put that away tomorrow. 

I played some Candy Crush (yes I am officially addicted) and cleaned out some spoiled food from my fridge. I have to say I was incredibly disappointed with the last 2 produce picks from Aldi's. I guess I'll just have to go back to shopping the Public Market (brrr) and Abundance Co-op. 

I am keeping with my intention for 2015 to spend more time with friends. Since my girls were born I have put many friendships on the back burner and 2015 is the year that I am making every effort to reconnect. 

Tonight all 4 of us (plus a guest of Thia's) are headed to the Skinny White Boy Chef's place where, he and Courtney are making us Chicken Anastasia. I am bringing this lovely pan of potatoes (yes that is a turkey roaster FULL of potatoes)

As well as a large salad. 

I kept up with the dishes today, and have decided in addition to not going to bed with dirty dishes in the sink I am going to make it part of my efforts to make sure that I dry and put away all the dishes every night before I go to bed. 

Tomorrow the girls and I will make Vision Boards.....