My life these past 15 months have been a whirlwind. Every time I thought I was out of the tunnel and that there was a light, it turned out to be an oncoming train and I had to duck into a new path along the tunnel and once again grope my way through the darkness waiting for the light at the end.
There have been many good times, but much more stress. I have given up eating well. It is difficult to eat well when you have limited funds, and more so when you don't know where your next meal is coming from. Many times I have sought comfort in cheap junk food from the Family dollar. I am once again at my all time heaviest weight. I am once again lost in sadness and despair. Once again my joints crackle as I move and I am exhausted. Not the kind of tired that if I could just get a good nights sleep I would wake feeling refreshed and ready to face my foes. Instead, the kind of exhausted that you wonder if when you lay down to sleep if you might just never wake again. The kind of exhausted that has you frightened to drive long distances. My allergies are OUT OF CONTROL. Because I cleaned up my eating once before I know the profound impact this has on my allergies, my fatigue and my mood.
Tomorrow I head out to Greenlakes with my parents, Sam and Ruffalo. While I have no control over the menu or the foods available I am recommitting to eating well and taking care of me. I will go ALL weekend without an electronic. I will hopefully have enough time to reset my sleep schedule. I will eat only whole foods and I will walk, meditate and reconnect with my inner self.
