It's That Time of Year Again

For me this is the time of year when I look back on my year as a whole and start thinking about my intentions and focus for the year to come. This time last year I was once again dreading the Christmas holiday, and I began to wonder how that happened.

How did I go from being the girl/teen/woman who loved everything Christmas (I couldn't wait for Thanksgiving weekend because that was the start of family gatherings and all things Christmas) to dreading my favorite time of year?

The answer is simple. Even though I grew up with plenty of simple Christmases (many years the only gifts under the tree were the homemade ones my parents could put together) I felt like I was failing my family.  Christmas for me was never about spending money or store bought gifts. My fondest memories are of the items my family exchanged, a handmade Cabbage Patch Doll, Hope Chest or the Jewelry Box my father helped me build for one of my sisters. 

From Lu's first Christmas I set the intention of keeping the holiday simple and about family not about the gifts. And no matter what I had to spend on gifts there were always plenty of gifts. My mother (love her dearly) always goes overboard when it comes to Christmas for the grands (part of me wonders if it is to make of for the holidays I had as a child). My then mother-in-law would always bring a sack of presents as well. No matter what the finances I always managed to fill stockings and have plenty of presents under the tree and put a nice meal on the table. Some years (many years) I wasn't able to do any Holiday Baking but still there were cookies (from Nana and Gramma).

Christmases with my husband were far more complicated than those from my childhood and at first I enjoyed them. I went from Christmas Eve being about Oyster Stew and Christmas Eve service to a large and elaborate celebration (including a visit from Mr. and Mrs. Claus) with my husband's entire extended family. I was in charge of the shopping and I took pride in finding just the right gift for the kids (and later for the Secret Santa Exchange) and being able to do so with our limited funds.

So what changed? 

The truth is I changed.

I was no longer content with struggling pay check to pay check and having to wait for birthday money in order to pay for Christmas. I was stressed out at having to wait until 10 days (or less) before Christmas to be able to buy gifts (and needing to ship some of those gifts downstate in time for the Holiday), holiday meal supplies and if anything was left over holiday baking supplies. 

I resented that my husband did not contribute to the holidays (although I do have memories of him finding Christmas Music and/or Christmas movies on the internet for me and the kids). I resented being solely responsible for making Christmas special not only for my kids but for our Secret Santa Recipients in his family. I resented that he got to keep his Birthday money (we are both December birthdays) for something fun for himself, while mine went to pay back bills and for the holiday. I resented that my Christmas money always went to paying bills in January and February (because we never had enough to get through the month) and that my "share" of our tax return  also went to back bills and paying for Lu's birthday celebration (and that there never seemed to be money for Sam's birthday celebration). I resented everything about my husband and our marriage. 

This was not good for me, for my marriage or for my husband. My resentment made it so that I was not able to enjoy or appreciate the little things that my husband DID do for ME. Like the day I came home from work to find our artificial Christmas tree put together and lights plugged in, and even an effort at fluffing the branches. 

So this time last year I made a decision to put the focus on fixing my marriage. I was determined that if I could make my husband happy that I would once again have a happy marriage. I felt that the key to that happiness was in decluttering our home. After all he was always commenting on how much of a mess my stuff was. I was determined to appreciate and praise all the little things that he did for me and the kids. 

The problem then (and through out our whole marriage) was that I was the only person working toward fixing our broken marriage. I had always been the one to compromise, I had taken interest in the things they interested him, but never the other way around. The more I tried to appreciate a day that he did the dishes, the laundry or swept the downstairs floors all I could think of was all the times that he didn't do those things, or that if it wasn't easy and free he didn't do anything to try to make me happy. 

We agreed not to exchange gifts, occasionally one of us (usually me) would break that rule and give a gift. However, every Christmas I filled his stocking when I filled the kids stockings. Then last year Lu took it upon herself to fill my stocking. Up to that point I had always "filled" my own stocking and by filled I mean threw a few things in so it wasn't obvious to small children that my stocking was neglected. Having Lu take over filling my stocking made me both happy (happy that she could see that my stocking was neglected, but sad that her father couldn't or didn't care). 

Another holiday crashed and burned. I remember getting into a fight with my husband just moments before leaving for his family's Christmas Eve get together and the tension in the car was thick. Then, like always, the moment we were in front of other people he put on his charm and pretended (like he always did) that we were a perfect happy family. These moments used to make me smile (because I would get to see briefly the man I fell in love with) but at that party I had to keep walking away from the party before I started crying (because now it was a painful reminder of the man I fell in love with who only came out when other people were around). 

This post isn't an effort to condemn my husband as the reason our marriage failed, but simply a realization on my part. The failure or success of a marriage is rarely tied to one person alone. Success requires both parties to participate, and failure in our case was the result of neither party communicating. I am notoriously a lousy communicator, especially when it comes to advocating for my own feelings and being treated well. I dislike conflict.

It wasn't that long ago when Sam said he was finally looking forward to Christmas. This nearly broke my heart. All the effort I put into making Christmas magical and what does Sam recall of his past 13 Christmases? That his mother was sad and stressed. He is looking forward to this Christmas because he doesn't think I will be sad or stressed, and so for his sake I am really trying. 

This however is yet another super stressful Holiday and I am beginning to wonder what I am doing wrong. Last weekend we all went to pick out a tree. I appreciated the convenience of a fake tree (and getting the fake tree was my idea and I used my Christmas money to buy one 15 years ago after Christmas), I have always missed the smell of a real tree (not the almost right smell of a pine candle, but the real smell of a real tree) and the look of a real tree. So thinking I could get a tree for $10 but prepared to pay up to$30 the kids and I went tree shopping. Our tree cost us $54 ($4 more than I had to spend on the holiday not just the tree). I quietly talked the kids down from a $68 tree to a $54 without letting on that it had to do with finances.

The tree is up and it is gorgeous, but it brings me both joy and sadness. Likely our tree will be without lights this year. I have 2 boxes of white lights and I think 3 strands of blue lights (somewhere in the boxes in the attic). I have plenty of ornaments to decorate it, but I don't have anything for under the tree. I don't have the supplies to make homemade gifts, and I don't have the money for homemade gifts. 

I don't have the money to pay the remainder of this month's rent (which is already late), to pay the RG&E bill, put gas in the car, buy groceries (I have $160 in food stamps for the remaining days of December and until the 5th day of January), buy supplies for gluten free holiday baked goods.

Somehow things have worked out this year. I have placed my faith in the Universe and it has not let me down, so now that is where I will place my holiday/end of year worries. I believe that the universe will take care of my holiday and that somehow things will work themselves out. 

This post isn't about sympathy or asking for anything from my readers, those of you who know me, know I wouldn't accept (there are people in far worse situations than mine) but instead about getting those feelings out in the open in an effort to move forward. 

Is there anyone else who loves this holiday but finds the stress of being expected (even if self imposed) to create a perfect magical holiday to be overwhelming?    

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today I started on a journey that changed my life. I knew changing careers would change my life, but I never imagined just how much.

Some of you may have noticed that I have been absent from the blog for some time. I was working on a blog post about Valentines Day gifts that didn't cost a ton of money but still showed your loved ones just how much you loved them. I had a brilliant idea for 52 date cards. Coming up with 52 ideas to do things with my daughters was easy. Coming up with 52 ideas that both my husband and I would like was near impossible.

On day one of Massage School we were all gathered together and told something along the lines of :
Some people come to massage school to heal others, some people will leave massage
school realizing that it was themselves they sought to heal. I met a wide variety of people who where genuinely supportive and kind. I realized that to take care of others I had to take care of myself.

I decided to make 2015 the year of me. I thought that to make me happy I needed to get my house in order and fix my marriage. Of course fixing the house and marriage were entirely my responsibility.  I thought if I lived in a house that was clean, organized and did not have 15 or so unfinished projects that I would be a happier person. AND if I was a happier person I would be easier to live with. Makes sense right?

So I set myself a deadline I was going to get the house market ready in 2015 (no I did not talk to my husband about any of this). I was going to figure it our with sheer desire to get it done and no funds to spare.  I was also going to make my marriage work.

The more I thought about trying to make my marriage work, the more I realized I couldn't make my marriage work alone and I couldn't speak with my husband. Somewhere in the last 15 years of marriage we had lost our connection (if we ever really had one). My marriage was not always bad. I have great memories, but at some point the two of us just changed. Changed in ways that we made each other unhappy and seemingly brought out the worst in each other. Most importantly somewhere along the way I stopped communicating (so did he, but I can only take responsibility for my own actions). A relationship without communication is nothing.

I realized I didn't have the strength, the time (I was working 2 part time jobs for a total of 6 days a week), or the money to finish the house or get it ready for the market.

I realized that before I could make anyone else happy, I had to be happy myself. No more fake it till you make it. True genuine happiness. I am not there yet, but I am closer.

So at the end of March I moved into my own apartment. I am now struggling to balance all that is single parenthood, building a career, divorce without a lawyer and turning my apartment into a home.

In moving out of the house I had lived in for 15 years I realized I have WAY TO MUCH STUFF.  My goal is to lessen the stuff. I want to start looking at things critically and asking myself if I truly NEED and/or WANT an item before I find a home for it.  One of my goals/resolutions for 2015 was to declutter and organize. I knew that the amount of stuff I had (hoarded) was getting in the way of my living my life. What I know now is that I was hoarding stuff to feel safe and protected. I felt alone and vulnerable. The stuff was my way to safeguard myself and the kids from hard times (it didn't really work).

I also fell off the Vitalitis Wagon.... hard. I am back at square one with my health. I am sleeping poorly, my skin is not in a great state, my digestion could use some help and I am generally fatigued and feel ughhh.

The good news is that I can always start again. So today is Day 1 of making small changes for a better life. For the next 10 days all I am going to focus on is hydration. I am going to make sure I am drinking ample water every single day. My water will likely be infused with lemon or lime and ginger or mint, but the important thing is to drink small amounts of water throughout the day. That is where I am choosing to start.

Eventually I will do a Mean Green Smoothie Cleanse, but not yet, I am not ready for that.

A lot has changed in a years time, all of it for the better. I have embarked on a career where I can help people (which is something I always felt was missing from my life). I have my own place and a home. I am learning who I am. You know I never learned who I was. I always lived my life trying to please other people. To be what they wanted. Now I know I have to figure out what I want and then I have to go for it.

Don't worry this won't turn into a man hating, divorce blog. I promise. I also promise to be more regular about posting. There have been big changes in my life, including a drastic change to my hair.... more to come ......

Homemade Deodorant

Have you ever picked up a container of commercial deodorant and read the ingredients? I can guarantee there will be at least one ingredient in there would put any tongue twister to shame. I've always had sensitive skin, and words like "fragrance" are a sure fire way to irritate my skin. Let me just say, my armpits are the last place I want itchy, painful, irritation. 

Once I hit puberty I began to use deodorant. I remember my first stick was some off-brand commercial kind advertised specifically for teenage girls, the scent was something along the lines of waterfall mist ... or something. The biggest thing I remember about it was the red bumps my armpit broke out in; effectively halting my use of that brand.

Tree here, I had already been thinking about ditching my commercial deodorant for different reasons. I had stopped using antiperspirant and switched exclusively to deodorant. Take a moment to think about why you sweat. The skin is the body's largest organ and its purpose is to protect the body. It protects the body by keeping foreign bodies out and by sweating toxins out. So if you prevent your body from sweating out toxins through your armpits what happens to those toxins. It was also around this time that we learned that aluminum (the primary pore clogging sweat blocker) may have a connection to breast cancer. 

Me and my mother hunted the grocery stores for a less irritating option, and we discovered natural brands. I tried many, some worked better than others, but none of them had the effect I desired. 

When it comes to "natural" deodorants the consumer bears the burden of doing their own research and bringing a dictionary with them. Many "natural" deodorants are no better than the commercial ones. I tried a number of them, some irritated my skin and others just didn't feel like they worked. I needed to reapply several times throughout the day (even when all I was doing was going to work).

Finally I decided to make my own. I read many internet resources, some praising the effects of it, some cursing it to the grave.

By the time Lulu had found her deodorant recipe I had decided on just powdered deodorant. I had scoured the internet myself and found the same things she did. People either loved it or hated it. I decided to skip the extras (needing to melt down a solid oil) and just use baking soda cut with a small amount of corn starch and peppermint essential oil. Now keep in mind peppermint eo is considered a hot oil and many people may find applying it directly to the skin irritating, especially to the sensitive armpits. I also learned that in many recipes baking soda can be an irritant, so if you try a recipe and it irritates you try melting it down again and adding more solid oil to cut the baking soda. 

I was using the powder with relative success (sucked for actual workouts) and it could be messy, then .....

I've decided I like it, and here I will share two recipes I've tried. I love both of them.

Recipe number one I made a while back.

You will need equal parts:

Shea Butter

Coconut oil

Baking soda

Beeswax

Arrowroot powder

If you so choose you can add a few essential oils.

Directions:

1. Melt down the oils in a double boiler.

2. Take oils off heat, and combine dry ingredients with the oils.

3. Stir and allow to cool a little.

4. Add essential oils of your choice.

Lulu as an athlete was loving the recipe above so I decided to accept her offer to make me my own. I LOVED this recipe. It worked great. I did find on my 12 hour days of class followed by clinic I needed to reapply, but it was easy to bring with me and easy to apply.  Then my container dwindled and so it was time to make more. However we did not have and Shae Butter. I had read a recipe that was just coconut oil and essential oils. This is my kind of simple.

The second one is my moms favorite.

Ingredients:

1/4 cup coconut oil

1 teaspoon arrowroot

1 tablespoon baking soda

Essential oil of your choice

Directions:

1. Melt down coconut oil.

2. Add dry ingredients to oil

3. Allow to cool a bit and add oil.

As Lu pointed out this is my favorite recipe so far. This recipe could be poured into an old deodorant container and used just like real deodorant (or you can purchase new deodorant containers online). This recipe goes the distance. I wore it to an interview with no issues. At the end of my day I am still clean and fresh. I am still thinking of trying a recipe that is just coconut oil and eos, because I am all about simplicity, but right now this is the clear winner for me. 

Some really great essential oil combinations are ...

Melaluca and Clove

Melaluce and Lavender

Rosemary and Lavender 

Orange and Rosemary

Peppermint and Orange

Thankful Thursday Week 2

Yesterday was a rest day, that is the polite way of saying that I did not get anything I had planned or hoped to accomplish done yesterday. I am Thankful that I have learned to embrace those days and accept them for what they are. I took the opportunity to reflect on 2015 and what it meant for me. Today my friends and classmates took a very important exam. The New York State Massage Therapy State Licensing Board Exam.  While I am a bit disappointed to not be taking the exam with them, my energy and efforts are better focused on the positive. That being, I did not study over the break from school 12/12/14 through the New Year. I enjoyed that time with my family. Then I studied a small amount before I received notice that I was ineligible for the exam. Sure the information is fresh in my brain (after all I spent the last 6 months trying to cram it all in), instead I am taking the next 7 months making sure that I do in fact know all the information that I need to pass my board exam. 

I am forever grateful for my long time friend Jennifer, because it does not matter what direction our lives take us, or how long we are apart. We simply need a telephone and twenty minutes.  This past weekend we had the opportunity for a long over due Girls Weekend.  We reconnected and shared over a bottle of wine, some SNL, Empire and Gone Girl.  

I am thankful that on Tuesday night when I was taking out the trash I listened when I was compelled to look up. The winter night sky was clear and crisp. The stars were bright and beautiful.  

I am thankful for the wonderful people who keep falling into my life, some for a brief period of time and others for longer. It seems (a friend confided in me) that I have the best luck and know all the right people. 

I am thankful for the friend who pointed me in the direction of a much needed opportunity.

I am thankful for the friend who shared with me books when I had run out of reading material. 

I am thankful for my new Oakworks bag for my table.

A Simpler Way to Organize/Declutter - Week 1

Last week I started on a journey to a simpler, cleaner and clutter free home. You can read about it here. This is my first weekly update. I had decided when I finished last week's post that I would start with my nightstand corner. I choose this spot for two reasons: 
1. It was small and therefore would only require an hour to accomplish
2. I am having difficulty sleeping and part of that is the clutter that surrounds me when I put my head down to rest

That being said I almost chickened out and started on a project in the kitchen. Lulu was working on this:

When she is finished with this project it will go in the kitchen, but I realized that it was pointless to clean the white cabinet that this is intended for until this is ready, otherwise I'll just be cleaning it again when she finishes.

So instead I moved on to my nightstand corner:

That is one very cluttered nightstand, plus a bag of Mad Hatter Tea Party Props, and a lawn mower box with fruit boxes and trash in it. 

These are the Mad Hatter Tea Party Props that I made from cardboard when Thia's school was doing Alice in Wonderland Junior. The Middle School kids painted the tea cups and tea pots. I have thought about doing some paper mache work on the interiors of the cups, and around the spouts and handles. Then I was thinking I would paint them vibrant colors and maybe sell them on a Craft page for another play or just for decor in someone's room. 

 This was part of the reason I shied away from this as my first project. This means I now have a deadline to finish this craft or recycle it (because it is cardboard).

This is everything that was on top of my night stand:

The black book is the School for Good and Evil, which as the last book Thia and I read together. I guess we need to find a new one.  Then there is the instruction book and CD for my camera, my journal with Lulu, a candle, adhesive spray, gifts from Thia and a plastic file box top with assorted home improvement supplies and items to recycle.

This is what was inside the nightstand:

Empty American Girl outfit boxes (broken down and recycled), Two Harry Potter Books (destined to be part of a Little Library), an old journal of Thia's (reviewed and recycled), blue scarf, black silk scarf, and a dried out pot with 3 dried out bulbs in a plastic bag.

 Empty and ready for a good cleaning. Before I cleaned the nightstand I broke down the lawn mower box (and stashed it for use in our raised garden beds this spring) and dusted the floor and lamp. I also rearranged the lamp and nightstand. I moved the nightstand and therefore my alarm clock further from my bed. There is no way for me to reach the alarm clock and hit snooze.  I know that snooze is ultimately really bad for me, but I just have been so exhausted and in such a funk that I hit snooze (sometimes for up to an hour of just lying in bed waiting for the alarm to go off again). Now I have to get out of bed in order to turn off the alarm or hit snooze.  Hopefully this will motivate me to get up when I wake up. 

Clean and rearranged.

This is the scarf that was inside the nightstand. I'll be listing it for sale, if in two weeks it doesn't sell it will be marked and packaged for my garage sale. 

This is the final result:

Want to check in with Victoria? Here is the link to her week one project.

How about you? Did you do something to simplify, organize or clean your home this week?

My To Do List Week Two

I previously posted a To Do List and I even thought that it might be interesting to post a daily to do list as the subject of a blog. A way for people to see what another person thinks are possible to accomplish in a single day.  However, that isn't what this blog is about. Rather I think it will be an interesting concept to post a weekly to do list. So here is my to do list for the week of January 26, 2015:

Daily:
Wash, dry and put away the dishes
Laundry: wash, dry, fold and put away (as needed)
Sweep First and Second Floors
Make my bed
1 hour massage study

By Week's End:
1 task from my Weekly Organization/Declutter List
Business Proposal - draft letter to organization
Start Valentines Crafts
Complete Financial Aid Packet for Girls' Schooling


Keep in mind that this week my schedule looks like this:
Monday: out of the house 7:45am-5:30pm
Tuesday: out of the house 7:45-5:30pm
Wednesday: home
Thursday: home
Friday: out of the house 7:45-5:30pm
Saturday: out of the house 8:30-1:00pm

So what is on your to do list today? this week?

Sunday Super - What Dinner Looks Like in My House

My recent post on Sunday Morning Pancakes featured a recipe from Brittany Angell's cookbook The Essential Gluten Free Baking Guide, Part 2, this dinner was inspired by what I had on hand (eggs, potatoes, scallions, tomatoes, peppers and cheese). 

I was originally thinking I would make frittata, which is my go to meal when I have eggs and some veggies and potatoes, then I realized I was really craving pizza. If I could find a grain free pizza crust I could make BREAKFAST PIZZA! 

In the picture above the dough actually looks pretty normal, but I remember thinking the dough looked kind of grey. I followed this recipe. One of the things I really love about Brittany Angell is that she has GREAT recipes on her website for free. I am also a Club Angell member and I HIGHLY recommend it. I followed the reader's comments to substitute a chia egg for the egg in the dough (because I only had enough eggs for the topping). I did not make this thick, it to me is normal pizza crust thickness. Not too thick, not too thin.  

First I par boiled the potatoes and then I oven baked them covered in Olive Oil, Fresh Garlic and Rosemary. I took the idea from Jamie Oliver and his Christmas recipe special. I found the recipe here.

I LOVE my cast iron pans and I don't know how I coked without them. They make the BEST potatoes and the BEST eggs and the BEST everything. 

I chopped up some of the potatoes and pan fried them like hashbrowns, then I scrambled some eggs and baked both upon the already par baked pizza dough. 

Since Lulu doesn't eat meat I cut her piece out before I added the bacon, and there is no cheese on Thia's section of the pizza because she doesn't eat cheese. Everyone topped their pizza how they wished: Lu used mustard and Karma Sauce as well as Scallions; Paul and I added peppers, cherry tomatoes and scallions along with Karma Sauce and Cajun Seasoning Blend; and Thia added scallions, mustard and Karma (she also ate the small amount of melon that was left over). 

My homemade Breakfast Pizza was far better than ANY I have ever had here in the ROC!

Shampoo Freedom

I have to confess that I do not wash my hair daily. I don't even wash it every other day. I wash it 1-2 times a week AND I don't use shampoo. I use a Baking Soda Wash and a Vinegar Rinse. This is super easy but still takes a little bit of time. Before I get into the specifics of the wash and rinse, let me back up. 

More than 5 years ago I started to shy away from traditional (aka commercial) shampoo. I searched the internet for shampoo free options. What I found scared me. The reviews for baking soda wash were mixed. Some people loved them, but other people were having serious problems with the baking soda wash. Some people noticed thinning patches or scalp issues. This was enough to keep me away from baking soda washing for a while. 

Instead I found a "natural" shampoo, one that did not contain SLS.  Without the SLS there would be little sudsing and I was prepared for that. I trudged ahead. The first wash my hair felt dirtier than before I washed it. It felt and looked like it was coated with a layer of grime. I repeated the wash with twice as much shampoo. I was able to make "natural" shampoo work, but I had to shampoo my hair twice using 3 times the normal amount of shampoo each time. But I wanted to be good to myself and the environment so I trudged on. I had read about a detoxification period so I incorrectly chalked this up to that. 

In the meantime I tried tea rinses (no good for me), a honey wash (no good for me) and even a beer wash (no good for me). Then I cut my hair super short (donated it to a charity event).  I was at a local craft show where there was a soap artisan who had bar shampoo. The bar shampoo worked like a dream. Even better I could get the bar shampoo at Abundance Co-op. What worked so well about the bar shampoo was that I was able to apply the lather to the underside, tops side and in the middle of my VERY thick hair. 

I loved the bar shampoo but at some point I just got lazy. I was tired of buying one shampoo for the hubs (traditional), natural shampoo for the girls and the shampoo bar for me. Then a miraculous thing happened....

I returned to the internet and found an article that explained why many people had experienced problems with their baking soda wash. The author explained why I had a layer of grime and why I have to wash my hair twice with "natural" shampoo. 

The culprit was hard water. Hard water + sebum = a layer of grease or grime.

So I ordered a water test strip through the internet. I honestly don't remember what company from, but I know it was a company that sold water softeners. You can get a free test strip here.  Given the results I had in the shower I was not the least bit surprised when the test showed moderately hard water. We do get some water spots on our glassware. We don't have cloudy glassware, but we also don't have a dishwasher. 

Moderately hard water meant that I could not use the typical baking soda method.  The typical baking soda method is to mix Baking Soda with water and just pour the solution over your head. You can google for more information on this or read this blog post about two women's experiences with going shampoo free for 31 days. 

Instead of the typical method I used the hard water method. I started with the full 2 Tbsp of Baking Soda, but eventually worked it back to less than 1 Tbsp.  However, I was supremely LAZY. Since you have to boil the water you also have to let the solution cool before you wash you hair. This means planning ahead, which I am not always good at. AND I did not regularly use the vinegar rinse. I don't mind the smell of vinegar, but it was one more thing to mix up when I showered and take with me to the bathroom. 

Eventually I returned to "natural" shampoo and when I lost my job I returned to commercial shampoo (because Suave is super cheap). Then Lu picked up the Baking Soda Wash method and even did her homework because she boiled her solution. She tried tea rinses and a few other methods that I hope she will chime in about. 

So in the New Year I was determined to return to the Baking Soda Wash and Vinegar Rinse Method. 

Some things to keep in mind. If you have a bottle of commercial or "natural" shampoo feel free to use it up. I know most people tell you to ditch the commercial and get away from the nasty ingredients.  If you are up for a rough 6 week transition then go for it. From what I read people who had the hardest transition periods were daily shampooers. When I first went shampoo free I was washing every other or third day. If you read reviews MANY people recommend getting to that point first.

I do not use the Baking Soda wash daily, I use it 1-2 times a week. Lu uses it more because of her MMA Fight Training and the need to get rid of the sweat and salt in her hairline.  I do use the Vinegar Rinse after every Baking Soda Wash. To my Vinegar I add 1 drop of Rosemary (supposedly really good for the hair) and 1 drop of Melaluca. I add the Melaluca for my dandruff. Even with commercial dandruff shampoo I still suffered from dandruff. My dandruff is actually very light. 

A few tips:

1. Comb or brush your hair before you wash it
2. Do NOT skip the vinegar (you need the acid to balance the scalp pH)
3. Try not to comb or brush wet hair (let it get to a damp or even dry state first)
4. Try not to touch your hair during the day, this increases the oil transfer from your hands to your hair. 

My routine:
I make my Baking Soda Wash the night before and let it cool overnight. Sometimes I reheat it on the floor vent in the morning before I shower. I pour the Wash over my dry hair making sure to saturate and then massage the scalp. I leave the wash on for a few minutes and then I rinse under running water.  After the rinse I use the Vinegar Rinse which I simply dump over my head and allow it to saturate all my hair. I do not rinse out the vinegar.

When I get out of the shower I towel dry my hair as best as I can and I put it up (in the summer when it is warmer out then I tend to just leave it down).

Before I Baking Soda Wash

Back Before I Baking Soda Wash

The Wash and the Rinse. I put the wash in a glass bottle because it is hot, I use a plastic bottle for the rinse because it is cold.

After - Nice and Clean (24 Hours Later)

After - Nice and Clean

48 Hours After

72 Hours Later - Still in Good Shape

A Close Up 

96 Hours Later - Time to Wash or put my hair up
No Flash

96 Hours Later - Wish Flash

I have a few recipes to try and help with the dandruff, but dandruff is essentially dry skin and it is a sign that something is missing from my diet.

Hello! This is Lu. Just chiming in with what I discovered on my no-poo journey.

I started no-poo because I was going through a period of complete detox (more to come in later posts.) Everything from my diet to my lotion was researched, switched, and eventually home-made. Everything except ... my shampoo.

I read so many articles about no-poo and the trials and tribulations those who tried it faced. I was so afraid of that dreaded transition period that I began to avoid the subject completely. All the while my poor, limp, dried out, hair called for an alternative.

First I tried shampoo bars ..and hated them. Something about using a soap bar and rubbing it on my head really bothered me, and I always managed to miss a spot. So yeah ... greasy patches ... yum.

Then I tried a series of rinses, everything from tea rinses to egg white and beer rinses. The rinses, while they work great as a hair conditioning treatment, did not clean my hair the way I wanted. 

Then I read something on a crunchy blog (right here) about a coconut milk and castile soap shampoo that suds-ed and worked like real shampoo. It probably worked for a lot of people, but it just left me with a greasy residue all over my hair. Damn you hard water!

So disappointed and with a greasy head I turned back to store bought shampoo. This was an organic all-natural shampoo, but I found myself facing the same issues my mother did with natural shampoo. 

Eventually a long break came along and I decided .... screw it. How bad can this really be? I did my research and found the hard water method and went to trying. I can't say I went through a really intense adjustment period, but I did need to do some experimenting. I had to mess with the frequency I washed my hair and how much baking soda and vinegar to use. 

If my hair was super dry, I decreased my baking soda and increased my vinegar. If it was oily I did the reverse. 

So what I do now is every two to three days I use a table spoon of baking soda dissolved in about two cups of water.
Then I take regular water and add about 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar to about two cups of regular (unboiled) water. I use this as a rinse after my baking soda. 

You can choose to leave the apple cider vinegar rinse in for awhile if you so choose, but the smell is STRONG. It's a great conditioner.

Are you looking to do No-Poo? If so leave any questions or experiences with it in the comments!

Thankful Thursdays

Remember when I declared that I was going to post for Thankful Thursdays? Well here we go. 

Thanksgiving is always the fourth Thursday in the month of November. More and more information is coming to light about the story of the First Thanksgiving. Some groups are devoted to getting to the roots of the tradition and preparing what would be a "traditional" meal. 

My mother traces her roots to the Iroquois tribe of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy, and while I have always been drawn to the traditions of indigenous people I feel that my connection is more to the nature aspect of those traditions. I love that Iroquois and other Native People have a profound connection and reverence for nature and the spirits of those gone before us.

Personally, I don't care what, when or where the original Thanksgiving is or was. I LOVE the idea of Thanksgiving. I love any opportunity to get together with family and friends and be grateful and celebrate LIFE and the future. 

So my goal is to be Thankful every Thursday of my life and that will carry over to the rest of the days of my life. People have said to me that I am a generally happy individual, and I let those people know that I have my dark days, but my hope is that I do put out a hopeful and positive outlook. 

Today I am grateful for the time we had with Twizzle. On Tuesday evening after a long weekend and 3 visits to the Vet's office, Lu had to make the hard decision to put down Twizzle. I am grateful that we had the long weekend with him and that because of the steroids he was on he was eating and for a day and a half that he was himself; active and loving. I am grateful for the wonderful Vets and Vet Techs who were so caring, not just for our cat but for our family. Dr. Straka called Saturday Morning and Sunday Morning just to check in, when I called in on Tuesday late afternoon we were told to bring him right down. I am grateful that Lu was able to be part of his last moments to say her good-bye and gain that perspective and closure. I am grateful to the Vet who treated him on Tuesday who has offered to do a paw print for her to have as a token of her beloved pet. 

I am Thankful that I have a home to live in, that my family is generally healthy and that my fridge is full of healthy, whole foods. 

I am Thankful for the Women Entrepreneurs United (WEU) for being a wonderful supportive group of women who share their souls and vitality with all the members. 

There is so much more to be Thankful for, but I want to make sure that each week I am being Thankful for something new and different and not repeating the same things. 

How about you? How will your life change if you start looking for those things to be grateful for instead of dwelling on the small negatives in life?

Don't hold yourself back.

This will be my first post since my introduction. Well ... not really. I've done one post since then, but I deleted it soon after posting it. I was so nervous that it wasn't good enough, or it wasn't long enough. I checked the grammar a million and one times trying to make it perfect. I stressed over if it was engaging; if anyone would read it.
I let those worries eat at me to the point that I was paralyzed. Every time I tried to write a post I would feel this wave of anxiety rush over me. So I would back away from the keyboard and forget about blogging for a few days. Then something would make me think ... WOAH I should blog about this. 
And the cycle would start over again.
Recently I've had this push to .. just do it. Start writing, see where it takes me. If the post is boring or terrible people will probably just ignore it and move on with their day. But if I don't post at all I won't get any better. 
So here I am writing a blog, seeing where it'll take me. My goal is to try and post each week, whether the post is short, or boring. I'll write it, edit it, and post it. Then I'll move onto the next thing. I won't sit and dwell on my mistakes, or the possibility of someone not liking what I have to say. Because if I live in constant fear of someone disagreeing with me I may never speak again.

While I'm on the subject of just doing things, and not over thinking them; I may as well tell you where this sudden push is coming from. 
We recently had to put my cat down. The cat my mother recently posted about. He wasn't getting better, and his quality of life was compromised. The veterinarians did everything they could but they couldn't stabilize him. So last night we made the decision to put him down. 
I stayed with him the whole time, petting him and comforting him until he stopped breathing. I am going to miss him of course, but I'm not devastated in the way I thought I'd be. I've decided to take a lesson from him.
I'm going to live my life in the best way I can. No second guessing and giving my love every chance I get. I began applying this lesson last night, when I decided I needed to paint. (Something I tend to over plan) So I painted, I just did it, and I felt satisfied. I'm also completing a sewing project today, and reading a comic my dad gave me. I'm not going to over think a crazy detailed schedule for my day, as I am wont to do. I'm going to do what I feel I want to in the moment I'd like to do it. 
I'm doing this even now, as I write this blog.
I'm just going to do it, and I will be satisfied. 

A Simpler Way to Organize

As 2014 drew to a close I began to see pins, blog posts and facebook feeds about decluttering and organizing in 2015. Much of the organization was designed around the idea of tackling a small (something under 1 hour) task each and every day. This is a GREAT idea, but as we all know by now I have a hard time staying on track and missing a day or 10 would make me feel overwhelmed and even a bit like a failure.  Then this caught my eye.

Victoria's idea seems so much more doable. To list out 52 things that can be accomplished simply by devoting a small amount of time to it each week.  So I have decided to give her little challenge a try, but in my own way. I am not going to list out 52 projects (because it is already the middle of January) instead I have gone room to room to list the projects I want to accomplish to declutter. I will be done when I can walk through my home and NOT feel the need to declutter. 

A home that is often messy is a sign of 1 of 2 problems. Problem 1: Too much stuff. If one has too much stuff then it tends to pile up. Problem 2: Too Little Space. If you have limited space then you have to decide is owning this item and giving up the precious real estate it is going to take up worth the item? 

OK so there is one more possibility, that you have problem 1 and problem 2. In my 2000 square foot (living space not counting that same amount of non-living space) I do not have enough storage solutions and space AND I have too much stuff. I am an organize out, while Lu is an organize in.

Organize out means I like (need) to be able to see what I have, but I do want it to be organized. Organize in means that Lu doesn't want to see anything, but she wants where it is stored out of sight to be neat and easily accessible. 

I also really, really like Victoria's rules, but I have to be Tree (Thank you Gretchen Rubin author of The Happiness Project) so I have set up my OWN rules:

One Week at a Time To A Simplified/Organized Home 

•  I can move ahead in my weekly list and the order the tasks are listed in is not the order I am moving through them. I will list what works for me. 
• I will only save those items for resale if they will likely sell in my neighborhood garage sale the first weekend of June (rain date to apply). Victoria set a value for the items to be sold, but since I simply want the items to go to a good home I am pricing my items low $1 for most items. I do want to find a local thrift store that is NOT a VOA, Goodwill or Salvation Army Affiliate. (If anyone in my area knows of an independent thrift store that would accept good quality used items please let me know.) After my garage sale everything that does not sell is going straight to charity. I also know from experience that a garage sale with too many little items feels cluttered and overwhelming so I am going to make an effort to get rid of the little things as I go and not hold onto them. There will be no nickel boxes at my garage sale. 
• I am setting up an area in the basement (as part of my office) for garage sale items. I do like this part of Victoria's rules: "I plan to date items with a sticky note when I place them in these boxes. I will go through them at the end of each month and any item that have been in them for longer than 4 weeks must be sold that very day, or it is off to the thrift store they go. No exceptions no matter what the value of the item." However, I plan to list items regularly on a Facebook page that I am part of. Those items will be up for sale on the FB page for two weeks. At the end of the two weeks they will get tagged for my community garage sale. At the end of my community garage sale EVERYTHING that didn't sell will go to charity. 
• Victoria's approach to look at the items as if she was moving is one that I can completely embrace, but I am going to ask myself when the last time I used the item, when I can use the item and is there something else I can substitute?
• Like Victoria I need to respect the stage of life I am in. To this end I want to set a deadline on the items that I plan to use or craft with. Ideally I am setting a one month time frame. If within one month's time I have not found the time to craft with the item I am going to immediately donate it. I am not allowing myself to keep those items for garage sale purposes because I feel that I would not truly be decluttering and organizing. 

I also like that Victoria is keeping herself accountable by posting weekly about her attempts and successes, so I plan to join her in that regard. I will be posting about my weekly attempt to declutter and organize on Tuesdays. I will also link to her weekly post so if you are interested you can see how she is doing as well. Here is my current weekly list, room by room:

Living Room:

1. Television Cabinet and Wii Game Basket

Kitchen:

2. Fridge/Freezer
3. Oven
4. White Rolling Cabinet
5. Built in Cabinets/Drawers
6. Baker's Rack

Breakfast Nook
7. Wire Rack #1
8. Wooden Rack
9. Wire Rack #2

Down Bathroom
10. Broken Chairs
11. Boxes

Dinning Room
12. Hutch
13. Display Case
14. Mantel and Bookcases
15. Table

Bedroom
16. My nightstand and corner   Completed 1/26/2014 
17. Top of dresser
18. Hub's nightstand and corner
Closet
19. Shelves
20. Laundry Basket
21. Milk crate
22. Rubbermade Tote
23. Briar Berry Bear's Basket

Up Office
24. Craft Table
25. Craft Bookcase
26. Boxes in front of Window #1
27. Dad's Bookcase
28. Boxes in front of Dad's Bookcase
29. Boxes in front of Window #2
30. Top of Desk
31. Under/in front of Desk
32. Shelf above hanging rod
33. Hanging Rod
34. Under Hanging Rod

35. Linen Closet

36. Stairwell Closet

37. Entry Closet

Front Porch
38. Exterior Wall Side
39. Interior Wall Side
40. Far Wall Side

Basement
41. E. Corner
42. W. Corner
43. N. Corner
44. S. Corner
45. Laundry Area
46. Chest Freezer

Basement Office
47. Desk Side
48. Sink Side

Attic
49. Attic Eve Storage
50. Attic Open Storage

This list can be edited as needed, adding items as I find them. While I will be posting new posts on my progress every Tuesday, I will be keeping tabs on this page with dates things are complete. Additionally, while I was looking for things to clean/organize/declutter in each room I could have also listed off items to be improved/repaired and I think I will start that list in pink in a new column and see how many tasks I come up with for that. The repair/improvement projects however are completely dependent on the financial situation at the time of the improvements. 

So what do you think? Do you want to join us?