To Sleep or Not To Sleep?

No, that is not really a question, but I cycle through phases of sleep. Sometimes I sleep really well. I have to be honest and state that these times of sleep are when I eat clean and avoid grains and dairy, exercise (moderately), and keep a hold on the stress in my life. 
Then there are the other 95% percent of times when I vacillate between not being able to fall asleep and falling asleep but waking every 2 hours. 

So lets start with the typical sleep cycle. Did you know there are stages of sleep? And not just the REM cycle...

In my anatomy and physiology class we learned from the great Dr. Tristum Eaton that sleep cycles run in 90 minute intervals (so you really need to divide your sleep cycle by 90 and make sure you are not shorting yourself a cycle). 

At any rate things that negatively effect sleep:

Light
Sure you already know that it is difficult to sleep with the lights on, but did you know that it is not just your eyes that are effected by light in your room. If your room has windows (like mine) and those windows let in street lamp light that light landing anywhere on your skin impacts your quality of sleep. (Google it - there was a study where a flashlight was shone (shined?) on the subjects knee.) So while the sleep mask might help you fall asleep and stay asleep if you have light reaching your skin (hello your face isn't covered when you sleep, unless you sleep in a cocoon sleeping bag, but then your nose and mouth are out) you may not be getting the best quality of sleep. 

Then there are all those little lights that no one wants to talk about.... unless the electronics in your room emit RED light it is most likely effecting your circadian rhythm. Consider removing ALL electronics from your bedroom including your electronic alarm clock. Replace your alarm clock with the old fashioned non-light emitting kind (oh wait there is even more of an argument for this one). Try it just for a month and see if you don't sleep better. 

Artificial light
Our bodies are designed to take our cues from nature. When the sun sets it is gradual. It tells our bodies that it is time to wind down our day and activities and to get to bed. The problem is that we live in an artificial light world. The lights in our houses are as bright at 10pm as they are at 10am.  The solution is simple. Turn down your lights. If you have multiple lights in a room try turning some off. If you like candle light try using candle light for the last 30 minutes before bed.

Electronics
Back to beat a dead horse. By now, most people acknowledge that the light from our screens (television, phones, computers) all disrupt our sleep cycle. The recommendation is to turn all screens off 2 hours before your go to bed. This would mean replacing the mindless television show you are watching (which isn't as mindless as you think if you know what is going on in the show) with a book, listening to music (without a digital display screen), taking a walk outside as the light goes down, or even meditating. 
A note on reading, if you are going to read before bed make sure you allow yourself 20 minutes after you have read to process what you have read so your mind is not racing when you climb into bed. 

For me the issues are simple and the solutions are even simpler. 
Noise
The one window (that has not been replaced) rattles (storm and window) and the noise disturbs me. There is some research that our brains learn to tune out routine noises, but for whatever reason this noise bothers me. Since we don't use that window all that much I am tempted to calk the storm (holding it in place) and the window, but I think the easier solution is to MacGyver it with some duct tape.
Light
The light from the street bothers me. Insulated or black out curtains are not an option, but asking the hubby to leave them shut when I am sleeping. He likes to leave an opening for the cat to look out. She likes that he does that too, but I need to sleep. I have also flipped so my feet are at the window and not my head.
Routine
I need a nighttime routine and I need to stick to it. Chamomile tea and some meditation by candle light will do wonders.
I also need a morning routine. Did you know that the snooze button actually makes you more tires? See the above where I informed you that we sleep in 90 minute cycles which means that a 3-10 minute snooze setting does not allow you to get any more sleep. I need to start listening to my body. I typically wake around 5:30 in the morning, but I struggle to stay in bed using the snooze button for over an hour (at which point it turns off) and maybe even staying in bed until 10:30....
Lastly, I need to honor my body by eating clean, avoiding grains and dairy and getting in some daily activity (even just a walk around the block). 

How about you? What do you do to improve you quality of sleep?

Post Christmas Wrap Up!

Not that long ago I decided I was going to attempt to post a single post everyday for one full year. 365 posts. I've already missed 2 posts. The first because I was just overwhelmed and exhausted. The 2nd was yesterday. 

Yesterday was Christmas. 
I celebrate Christmas. 
Maybe not in the same way a lot of people do, but I celebrate. 
Christmas to me is a time for family, a time for giving and a time for joy. 

This was my Christmas:

Christmas Eve the hubs, the girls and I went to his Aunt D's house.  We noshed, we gifted, we caught up with family members we hadn't seen in 6 months and others we hadn't seen in a year or more.  I really enjoy these gatherings and the opportunity to catch up. 

We returned home around 8:30 p.m.

Lulu and I still had some baking to do, and Thi-Thi still had some mochis to sew.  Lulu and I made the dough and baked the gluten free empanadas and stolen. Both turned out lovely, but I want to play with the dough to see how truly thin we can roll it. The next time we make the dough, I'll share the link to the blog we found it on, along with pictures of whatever we are baking with it. I parboiled the potatoes (ala Jamie Oliver's Christmas Baked Smashed Potatoes) and we made Gluten Free cinnamon rolls. The cinnamon rolls were my absolute favorite. We had been looking for a grain free recipe that was still soft and tasty. These hit the spot! Again we want to play with this recipe to see if we can make larger rolls (keep in mind with grain free the dough doesn't rise). 

Then of course the kitchen had to be cleaned up. I washed and dried dishes.

I always wrap presents on Christmas Eve. I have visions of wrapping things as I get them (and visions of getting things through out the year) so that on Christmas Eve I just need to pull out the gifts and put them under the tree. There is always next year. 

I finished wrapping a few minutes past midnight. I went to bed. Originally I thought if I finished my Christmas preparations by 10:00 p.m. I would do a simply Merry Christmas blog and set it to auto-post. By 10:30 I realized I would not be able to prep a post. I thought about blogging Christmas Day after breakfast, and after my girls did presents. 

Then is was 7:30 Christmas morning and time for me to get up. Fortunately, we trained our girls early to wait on Christmas morning. They were not allowed to get up and run down stairs and open presents. Our rule was that they had to wait to go down stairs until Mom and Dad had gone downstairs and had coffee AND that they had to wait to open presents until my parents arrived in the morning. They could open stockings but everything else had to wait. So my girls have always slept in on Christmas morning. 

This year I actually had to wake them up. 

I got the cinnamon roll dough out of the fridge to let it come to room temperature.  I put the empanadas and the stolen in the oven to warm up. I set the table and rearranged the furniture. 

My parents arrived at 8:30 (which is early for them, usually it is closer to 9:30), and we had breakfast before we even did stockings or presents.  After breakfast the girls opened their stockings, the hubs opened his stocking and I opened my stocking. 

Last year, Lulu took on the task of filling my stocking. The year before that she asked why my stocking was mostly empty. I told her that because I do all the stockings it is tough for me to come up with my own stocking stuffers. Instead I just put in my toothbrush, razor refills, soap and a chocolate item that we all get. Everything else in the stockings is personal to that person. 

Last year, Lulu worked the previous summer and had some money so she bought a lot of items and filled my stocking. It was touching. I thought it was the best stocking ever! Then I opened my stocking this year. While I had limited funds this year, she had only $10. She bought my favorite tea and a chocolate bar (with Chai spice) but what made this stocking the best ever was the rest of the items she made. She made me hand warmers which she stitched a peacock feather and a heart in peacock colors on. She made me a bracelet and a wire pendant. She made me an infinity scarf and I am sure I missed something, but it made me so happy I nearly cried. 

My girls received all hand made items from me and Santa and Thi-Thi stated "Best Christmas Ever"

While they received items that were from Amazon and/or store bought they items that made them happy and everyone else happy were the items that were handmade for them or by them. 

They were both super excited to be giving out hand drawn cards, candles and soaps they made along with some sewn crafts. I'll let Lulu tell you about the Studio Ghibli basket she made her sister. 

After gifts I had to clean up the kitchen from breakfast. 

Then my parents and I hung out and chatted for a while. Eventually it was time to put out the grazing platters and prepping Christmas Dinner. While I took plenty of breaks and spent time with my family I was go go going all day long. I realized before lunch that it was more important to me to spend the time with my family and be present in the moment than to simply post a blog post. 

So however you spent yesterday I hope it was a good day and that you were present to all the joy. 

Homemade Giftables! Bath Salts

So if you are a last minute Lucy, like myself, you might be scrambling to find gifts for all those who remain on your list. This is a recipe for ingredients you might already have on hand....

 1lb of Sea Salt (fine or coarse crystals)

4lbs of Epsom Salt

1/2 c Pink Himalayan Salt

Add Ins

Lavender buds

Chamomile buds

Essential Oils

Kerr 1/2 Pint Jars with Lids (19.00 1.60/jar)

Sharpie

Fabric or Ribbon

This recipe makes roughly 10 1/2 pint mason jars of bath salts. I used plain Epsom salts (I found them in with the medical supplies not with bath supplies), fine sea salt (I would recommend coarse sea salt but I had the fine on hand for making salt scrubs), 1/2 c of Pink Himalayan Salt (I found it in bulk at Abundance Co-op). This is your basic recipe. Mostly Epsom salts, then add some sea salt and pink salt if you have it. You could use just Empsom Salts. 

From here you begin to customize. I scooped out (using the 1/5 pint jars) into a small bowl enough of the salt mix for 2 gifts. To this I added Lavender buds and Chamomile buds (this was actually a yummy tea mix from Tracy's Teas) and 3 drops of Roman Chamomile and 2 drops of Lavender essential Oils. Mix well and package. This made my Relax Bath Soak for my MIL and Mums.

It is especially important with Essential Oils and bath salts to let them sit together for 24 hours before you decide if they smell is strong enough.

Then I took out two more containers worth and added orange peel, wild orange (3 drops), grapefruit (2 drops), and Ylang Ylang (1 drop) essential Oils.  This makes Shiny (as in sunshiny) Bath Soak.  

I already had ALL of these supplies on hand, I had purchased bits and pieces through out the year with the idea of doing a bath salts workshop. So technically these 4 gifts cost me nothing (and I have two coconut oil glass jars with salt mix to make more custom blends), but let's do a real cost analysis.  

I used a sharpie to write "relax" and "shiny" on my bath salts. Right on the metal lid. Use a little citrus eo to remove any residue or previous sharpie work. You could also cut a square of fabric to cover the metal lid and make it look super pretty, or use ribbon. 

The cost breakdown:
1 lb of Sea Salt (fine or coarse crystals) - purchased from Trader Joes for $.99
4 lbs of Epsom Salt - purchased from Wegmans for $3.99
1/2 c Pink Himalayan Salt - $1.25 at Abundance Coop Bulk Section
Lavender buds - Free the Tea was given to me as a gift and I enjoyed it very much this was just the very end of it. You could buy this tea from Tracy or go to Abundance Co-op and get Lavender and Chamomile in their bulk section. Better yet plant these in your garden this spring and dry them for next year.
Chamomile buds - same as the Lavender
Orange Peel - FREE
Essential Oils - about $0.05 per drop
Kerr 1/2 Pint Jars with Lids - purchased from Amazon through Cooks.com for 19 with shipping making each container cost $1.60
Sharpie - Free
Fabric or Ribbon - Free
So then each gift costs approximately - $2.50

If you do gift Bath Salts encourage the recipients to return the fancy jars for future gifting. You could also save other containers throughout the year or search garage sales this summer. I don't recommend plastic. 

I selected Kerr jars because they are made in the USA and I try very hard to support this local economy of ours.  I ordered mine from Amazon then saw them for the same price (sans shipping and handling at Target). As much as I don't like the big box stores, I can justify this kind of purchase there. 

Let me know if you have a favorite bath salt recipe....

Company is Coming, Quick Put Out the Fancy Soap!

Often times in this house we "run out" of liquid hand soap. And by run out I mean I simply don't want to take the 3 minutes it takes me to make new foaming hand soap. When this happens the dish soap gets used for hand washing at the kitchen sink and the bar soap moves between the shower and the sink in the upstairs bathroom....

Now when I know we are having people over I TRY to make sure that we have plenty of foaming hand soap, I wouldn't want them to think me uncivilized. Who am I kidding they are family, they know me....

At any rate I made fresh foaming hand soap and I decided to share my recipe with you. I will not link to the original recipe (which is just an advertisement for a essential oil company) primarily because I have modified the recipe and I believe the amount of Essential Oil they are calling for is excessive. I am not an aromatherapist so any of my comments regarding essential oils are my opinions after more than 2 years of reading about the subject. When selecting the oils you plan to use consider the following:

Who will be using this soap?  The exposure to essential oils is very minimal total of 6-10 drops per entire bottle, but if you have little ones, elderly or pregnant mommas using your soap make sure to check the oils for safety for these "special populations".

Am I adding Essential Oils for Smell or for Purpose?  Do you know the REAL purpose of hand soap? Hand soap NEED NOT BE ANTIBACTERIAL. You remove bacteria with proper hand washing. Good hand washing is done with WARM soapy water and at least 2 minutes of friction. Soap is a surfactant. This means that soap reduces the surface tension of grease, oils and germs to make them more readily removed from your hands. If you wash your hands with warm soapy water for a minimum of 2 minutes with friction, not just placing them under running water, you should have no worries about germs. If you are worried about resistant germs, I have bad news, antibacterial soap contributed to the evolution of that bacteria and isn't the solution. That being said many essential oils have antiviral, antibacterial and antifungal properties. One can search the interwebs to find out what the properties of an essential oil are (please note if a website promotes or is in some way connected to a specific company and use wise judgement when accepting the information put out for the purpose of selling a product) and decide what ones to use. Keep in mind however unless you have the science background and the ability to GC/MS test (and read the results) of the oils you are using you never really know what and how much you are getting. 

The beauty of Essential Oils is that LESS IS MORE. No that is not a question. Anyone who tells you differently is simply uninformed or out to sell you more product than you need. Our bodies are wonderfully complex devices and just like the human body can only process so much water at a time (roughly 4 cups per hour, if your kidneys are healthy) it can only process so much essential oil at a time. The concern with essential oils is that they are lipid based. IF they were water based (such as vitamin B) you would simply pee out the excess. However lipid based items (like Vitamin D and K) actually get stored in body fat and can accumulate to dangerous levels. Use the least amount of essential oil you can for the purpose you are seeking. Are you simply seeking smell? Then add a drop or two of you oil and let it blend for 24 hours. If the smell is enough you are done. If you desire a stronger smell add 1 or 2 more drops. Are you seeking a therapeutic effect? The same rules apply. Generally if you can smell it, it is enough to have an effect.

At some point I will do several posts about essential oils. The purpose of my essential oil posts will not be to direct you to any company but to clear up misinformation being supplied by sales reps for some of the leading essential oil companies and to encourage my readers to do their own research (from non-affiliated websites and books) and make their own decisions with the guidance of their medical team. 

At any rate back to the soap:

You will need
Liquid Castile Soap - I use baby gentle mild, if you want to use one of the fragranced ones then omit any additional essential oils
A foaming Soap Bottle
Essential Oils (maximum of 10 drops and 3 oils)
Water

The original recipe called for the addition of fractionated coconut oil, presumably as a hand moisturizer. I made my initial batches with the FCO, but found that even if I remembered to shake the container before I used it the oil settled to the bottle. When I got to the bottom of the container the oil felt greasy. I omitted coconut oil and because castile soap is so gentle I did not find the soap drying or have a need for the oil. So as a time and MONEY saver I omit any kind of liquid vegetable oil from my recipe. 

I already had foaming soap containers on hand. If you don't then ask around you probably have friends who do. Or you can buy new plastic ones that look similar to the short ones with black lids at a place like Aromatools. I have purchased from them in the past (no I am not being compensated, they don't even know I have linked to them) and had excellent customer service. I am sure based on the inexpensive price these items are made in China in horrid conditions, but I have yet to find a US supplier. If anyone knows of any I would LOVE to check them out. Or you can go for the Mason Jar style. If you google then the lids will come up, you can even buy the complete jars through Esty. Again I am sure the lids are made in deplorable condition and I would LOVE to know if anyone knows of a US Manufacturer. Lastly, you can do what I am going to do in the new year: Repurpose glass jars with screw on lids and the foaming pumps from these bottles. I'll post when I get that one figured out. 

There is some debate about using essential oils (especially the citrus ones) in plastic containers. I have used citrus essential oils in these containers and had no known issues. If the citrus oil is breaking down the plastic I haven't seen evidence of that. That being said I DO PREFER to use glass with everything, especially my essential oils and storing products with essential oils. However I am also cost conscious so I use what I have. 

Take you old (or new) foaming soap container and give it a good rinse. Put clean hot water in it and pump it through until it stops foaming. 
Now take the castile soap and add 2 Tablespoons of soap to the container, I use 3 TBSP in the larger container.
Add your essential oils (I use 2 drops of Tea Tree and 2 drops of citrus, this time it was grapefruit).
Fill with cold water (filtered or distilled not necessary), leaving enough room for the foaming pump.

TaDa!

You're done!
For less than $1 worth of materials and supplies I have filled 3 foaming soap dispensers and this will last in my house for at least one month. 

. Let me know if you make your own hand soap, foaming or otherwise and your favorite scent combinations......

Cleaning - The Down and Dirty!

Google green cleaners and you will find articles and links to commercial "Greenwashed" products as well as recipes for all sorts of cleaners.

You can clean most everything in your house with:

Baking Soda (washing soda for laundry)
Vinegar (plain white)
Citrus (soak your waste citrus peels in white vinegar and you have a powerful window and surface cleaner)
Liquid Castile Soap

Most of the cleaning in this house is done with just plain white vinegar. White vinegar kills MOST germs, but not salmonella bacteria. You can kill Salmonella bacteria with warm (notice I did not say HOT) soapy water. 

The best cleaner in your arsenal is plain liquid castile soap. We do not need to disinfect surfaces (we really would be healthier if we had limited and regular exposure to common bacteria and germs).  

When I want a gentle scrubbing agent I use baking soda, castile soap and a touch of vinegar. 

Adding Essential Oils to your homemade cleaning products can make them smell good, may increase their ability to cut (emulsify) grease (like citrus), may add to the anti-bacterial effect, but they are not necessary. 

In 2015 I'll share one cleaning tip per week and share all my tried and true cleaning solution recipes (all 2 of them).

The best advice on cleaning is to keep up with it. So whether or not you are way behind (I am) or you clean regularly, doing a little bit each day/week makes all the difference. 

If you try to clean you whole home at once you'll be so exhausted (if you are able to finish) that you won't want to do any kind of maintenance the next day and thus the cycle continues. 

The holidays have started for some (Happy Hanukkah, Happy Solstice) and are just around the corner for others (Merry Christmas), but if you have company coming and you need to clean-up your home and your act here are some simple tips and guidelines:

1. They are there to see you, so unless you live in a place that is truly filthy relax.
2. Clean only those areas they are likely to see.
3. Pick your battles.

Remember your guests are your guests. They are there to visit with you and celebrate the holidays. They are not there to judge your housekeeping. Not many people actually keep homes worthy of being in a magazine. My house is lived in, and yes it could be cleaner (and it will be in 2015) but it is my home. I am grateful to have a home.

Are your guests likely to be in your basement, will any bedrooms not be used, how about your home office? Concentrate on the following rooms in this order:

Bathrooms - Bathrooms should always be clean

Kitchen - if you are cooking or they are eating in your home you want the kitchen clean. We are not talking about cleaning the fridge, instead give the floor a sweep and mop, wipe the counters and stove down with warm soapy water and put away any unnecessary clutter. 

Dinning/Living room - Clean the floors, wipe down table surfaces for dust, put away the clutter, and shake the furniture cushions (preferably outside)

Guest Room(s) - Clean up only if they are in fact staying with you or if they have small children who might need to nap. I just shut the down on my and Thia's bedrooms.....

So take a moment prioritize and remember that your guests are coming to visit with you not judge your home. 

Fight Like A Girl

We started with Martial Arts for Thia, she was always tall for her age and a bit awkward.  A friend of our suggested Martial Arts and even invited us to try their dojo. Thia took to it, although she is currently taking a break (for studies and the school musical). Lu was busy with school, school sports and the musicals. That first summer she did a summer program and she loved it. Lu took breaks as she needed for her sports seasons and the plays. Then we were asked to help with a local fight. They needed more ushers. We got to watch all the fights (from the BEST seats in the house) and all we had to do was show people to their seats and make sure the aisles were kept clear. After the fight Lu was pumped. She wanted to know what she had to do to get into the ring. 

For those of you who don't know Lu yet she is determined. Once she sets her mind to something there is no changing it and no deterring her. It has not been an easy road to get to fight training. She was an orange belt, so she was told the dojo preferred that the fighters be purple belts and up. Then she was told she needed to attend the Saturday sparring classes regularly (shortly after the Saturday sparring classes were cancelled). Then she was told she needed to make the drive to Syracuse for fight training. Then the fight training schedule kept changing. Now we make the drive to B-ville twice a week (once her fight is scheduled it will be 3-4 times per week). 

Her dojo family (and they are a family) all support her decision to fight. They encourage her and some even say they admire her courage because they don't think they could get in the ring.  What disturbs her and SO MANY FEMALE ATHLETES is the naysayers. She and I have both fielded the same questions since she started. Last night as we arrived in B-ville for Monday night class a parent of a dojo student (not in fight training) was trying to be polite and make conversation. She realized she forgot her wraps (she just got wraps from her Nana) and the parent asked her "Didn't you forget your mouth piece last week?" 

Instantly, I could see her mouthpiece sitting in the yogurt cup on the counter (she must have washed it over the weekend) and I said "You did grab your mouth piece from the counter?" Lu was just a bit confused "Why would my mouth piece be on the counter?" 

"Isn't it sitting in a yogurt cup next to the sink?"

I could see her heart sink. In fight training rib gear is optional, shins are optional, but headgear, mouth guards and jewel guards are NOT.

The parent wanting to be helpful let us know we could go to Kinney's (a drug store in the Cuse area) for a mouth guard. I doubted they would have a specialty guard (she is allergic to latex) and the type she needed (darn small set jaw) but was willing to run out there. Before we left I let Shihan know where we were headed and he let her stay without a mouth guard because the plan was just to work pads. Phew! We dodged a bullet, but we will make sure to run a checklist before we leave next time (tonight).

As I settled in with my book, the parent asked how I felt about the drive from the ROC to the Cuse. I told him I didn't mind it (and truth is I do not). Sure there are times that I am tired and would rather not make the 1.5 hour drive, but then I see her on the floor and listen to her afterwords and it is always worth it. I value the three hours we have together in the car to talk (even when she is exhausted and emotional). He then wanted to know what I would do when the weather started to turn bad. 

Truth is I am sure in Western/Upstate New York I am sure we will miss a training class or two in the winter due to weather, but overall I don't mind driving in the snow. I mind the way other people drive in the snow, but I am a confident winter driver. I am a December birthday and I learned to drive a commercial van in the snow.  He mentioned how bad the thruway can get, and knowing people who have made the drive (our ROC instructors) in previous winters I know the thruway can get bad. I also know I can drive around it, choose not to go, or shack it up with dojo family in that area if need be.

All of this fine, even helpful. Maybe I am not from an area that gets lots of heavy snow, maybe I haven't thought about these things. Then the conversation went where they always go...

"Why do you let her do this? I mean she is such a pretty girl." 

These statements are always well meaning and I know it can be hard to understand why any girl in today's society, where we are so judged on our physical appearance,would put her face in the way of a broken nose, black eyes and potential cauliflower ears....

No one asks why parents let their boys do: football, rugby, BMX, box or MMA

Why because the societal standards say boys are supposed to be rugged and ruff and tumble. A man with a broken nose is even more hunky (ala Mathew McConaughey - although since he made it big its been cleaned up) and scars are signs of manliness.

It irritates me that female athletes (I was one once upon a time) are expected not only to excel as an athlete but still look pretty. Lu was telling me about a new MMA fighter who has quite a bit of talent but all the news outlets can focus on is the fact she looks like a super model and will this ruin her good looks. 

All I know is that as a parent it is my responsibility to support my children (regardless of gender) to reach for their dreams. No one would question if she wanted to be a ballerina (which is far more physically damaging, check out a retired ballerina's feet, ask about her joints and let's not even get into the body dis morphia where you are old at 25 and fat at a size 6) but everyone questions her and me about her wanting to be a fighter. 

I understand the concern for her physical safety, I worry about kids and adults with dangerous professions and hobbies, but it always becomes a commentary on looks. Somehow because she is beautiful she should not want to be a fighter. So if she was ugly would anyone question why she was getting in the ring? 

I trust Impact Martial Arts and Team Andrello to train her to be the best fighter she can be. I trust Shihan, the Barge, her instructors and her teammates to prepare her for the ring. Could she break her nose? Her orbital bones? A rib? Could she suffer a concussion? These are all possibilities, but she is going to do this with or without my support. If you think I have an option in letting her, then you haven't met my very strong willed athlete. 

Show your concern for an athlete's well being, just don't make it about gender. Not for BOYS or GIRLS. Athletes are athletes and what they need is support for what they are doing, encouragement and yes people who are concerned about their safety. Being concerned about weather or not she'll be pretty when she is done fighting isn't really concern for her safety it is an individual's lack of real knowledge. Now I know changing gender standards is the long road, but talking to people who ask me these questions is what I can do now. It doesn't mean that it doesn't irritate me when people ask me "Why do you let such a pretty girl do that?" It does bother me more when someone asks her "Why do you want to do that, you are so pretty"

Not Just Another Day

Today is my 37th birthday.  I have never been a big fan of celebrating my own birthday, however I do love celebrating other people's birthdays. It is not an issue of aging, to me age is just another number.  For me it has always been an issue of being uncomfortable in the spotlight. I have for so long focused on my flaws and my failures that I forgot to look for my own best attributes. These past six months of learning massage, I have also learned that it is important that I value myself. If I don't value myself, then no one else will either. So from now on my birthday is not just another day, it is a day for me to celebrate all I have accomplished, who I have become and where I am headed in life. I am grateful that I have found people to surround myself with who will help me to remember that I am worthy.

In this next year I am headed down a slightly uncertain path. I am studying for the New York State Massage Therapy Boards so I can receive my license to practice. I will open my own business for women in all stages of the birth cycle and I will make sure my family is in a more stable financial situation. 

I am excited to be doing something that makes me smile, and I am endeavoring to remember to do the things that make me happy. I am going to attempt a number of craft projects and home improvement projects. Many of the projects have been on my mind but I haven't even attempted them because I have always worried about failure. If I never started then I didn't fail. But for my 38th year of life I am going to change the way I look at those projects. I ONLY fail if I don't try the projects. 

Changing the way I think is a goal for my next year. I have always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, not to judge and not to gossip. I am however human and I fall into bad habits, so for the next 365 my goal is not to judge and not to gossip.

I am also taking Thanksgiving to every Thursday of the year. Every Thursday I am going to list the things I am Thankful for from the previous week and that which I am Thankful for going into the next week. That which we look for, we find. 

Never again will I allow my birthday to pass without at least my own celebration of where I am in life. 

I did not write this post for people to leave nice comments and tell me good things about myself. I wrote this post because I know I have spoken to many people (most of whom are women) who struggle with valuing and celebrating themselves. There is always some guilt associated with self celebration and self valuation, as if that doing so takes away from another. Instead I believe there is enough, enough praise, enough good, enough celebration to go around, and much like the flame that is not diminished by lighting another candle, the more we celebrate, the more we praise, the more there will be to go around. 

How are you going to celebrate and value yourself this week, this month, this year of your life?

Every Ending is just a Beginning in Disguise

Today, as I hung out with 4 of the 7 women I have spent the last six months with, I realized how true it is that every ending is just another beginning. I have spent the last six months training to be a massage therapist. At minimum this has meant 8 hours a day 5 days a week at school, not including the 7 hour Saturdays (most Saturdays) and 2x per week of clinic adding another 4 hours to my already long days. In the last six months we 8 have bonded, bonded as a family. We have spent more time together in the past 6 months that I have spent with my own family in that time. We graduated on Friday. All the hard work (58 tests), the stress, the study sessions, the encouragement, lifting each other up when one or more of us just felt like we couldn't go on, we will always have that. 

When we started we were told that the people you meet in massage school will form a bond that is unique and special, we didn't understand how true that was until we made it through this program together. The journey is not over, on the contrary it is just beginning. We have 6 weeks to prepare for the New York State Boards, and then we wait for up to 6 weeks while we wait for our results and our licenses. This is a new journey for us, and I am glad we are making it as friends. 

I know that we will drift, Peg and Hannah are headed to Florida, Janet eventually to North Carolina, Ryane is a wondering spirit, and Jen A is so far away already. Jennie and I will probably be the ones who stay here in the ROC, and I will take on the task of keeping us together. Once a quarter I will arrange a get together and those who can make it will, but at least once a year I will hound everyone to get together.

So while you don't know these fabulous women I do, so let me introduce you the the people they are as seen through my eyes:

Peggy: Peg is the Momma Bear and my big sister. I love her dearly. She was a shoulder to cry on, and understood my stress and could always tell when any of us just needed a mom's shoulder to cry on. 

Hannah: She is the baby of the group, turning 19 in our program she shows incredible maturity and focus for someone so young. She often reminded me of my own daughter and if my girls grow up to be as brave, strong and confident as she is I will be proud. She is a shining star and I love her dearly.

Jen A:  Jen A. was quiet and shy. She was reserved and I couldn't get a read on her. At first I didn't think she liked me. She is determined and worked hard to get to where she is. She came out of her shell a bit with all of us, but she will always be the quiet one in the group (it is the quiet ones you have to watch out for). She is the Zen Tinkerbell. I love her dearly.

Jennie: Not much older than Hannah she was also quite shy at first, but she warmed up fast and we learned she had quite the wild side. She also has a vulnerable side that she tries really hard not to show. She loves a good party and she kept us all upbeat and going. I love her dearly.

These were my fellow 6 monthers, those of us crazy enough to want to do a 12 month program in only 6 months. We were joined in the afternoons by Janet and Ryane, and eventually Jennifer.

Janet: She kept to herself, not sure if she should come over and join our close knit group. It took us all a while but eventually we all warmed up to each other, and she fell into our fold. Her cartoons made us laugh (and sometimes laugh so hard we cried). Little did she know how much joy those little items brought us, or how needed they were on some of our more stressful days. I love her dearly.

Ryane: Though she started out just in the afternoons with us, she eventually had to finish out the morning Myo class with us. She instantly fell in with Hannah and the rest is history. We have war stories to share. None of us will look at post-it notes the same. Some day soon we are all going on a trip to the S Exchange for our $4 shirts. I love her dearly.

Jennifer: Jennifer joined our group halfway through. She went through massage school with extraordinary circumstances. I don't believe she knows how truly strong she is, and I am in awe of her. She was my partner often for Shiatsu and it was nice to have one other person in the room who just didn't feel it, no matter how much we wanted to. I love her dearly.

We are taking a small break as we head into the Holiday Season, and I know I will be going through withdrawal, but we'll see each after Christmas as we prep for our Boards. 

One Journey ends, only to find we are at the start of another. For some of us, we are standing at a cross roads with so many choices in front of us, for others we have already chosen our path. For ALL of us there is no road we cannot travel together, and together in spirit we will always be. Every time I lay hands on another each of you will be in my heart and my hands. Each of you has influenced me as a massage therapist. THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU DEARLY.  

What's Wrong with Supporting Local?

When this NY Times article "The Downside of Eating Too Locally" popped up in my news feed I was curious.  After all what could possibly be wrong with eating locally?  The truth is there is nothing wrong with eating locally, and people who pledge to eat within 100 miles of their home are doing a wonderful thing for their home economy and for the global environment. The fact that some people won't purchase organic lentils from the mid-west is not the true problem for those farmers in the mid-west. The problem is that more of their neighbors are not buying truly local. 

I personally don't like labels, "challenges" or pledges. I do my best to purchase local. If I have the choice when purchasing local I purchase local that has been grown ethically and using sustainable methods, this may or not be "organic". If the next option is conventional local I might purchase it. Just because it is local doesn't make it better. If there is a non-local sustainable option then that might just be what I purchase. I had thought about trying a year long challenge of eating just local (I read a blog on that premise and they had a great year eating local), but I realized quite simply I like foods that do not grow in my neck of the woods. I love bananas, avocados and pomegranates to name just a few. 

I try not to label myself, because I have learned if you do label yourself people love to point out to you when you have left the path of righteousness that naturally goes along with that label. For a long time I worked really hard to purchase organic goods, and then I expanded to trying to purchase local organic goods. I learned over time that the organic label is 1) not what it used to be (thank the big business lobbyists) and 2) for small farmers (who are ultimately who I want to support) it is cost prohibitive to get the organic stamp of approval. Many small farms have moved away from the word "organic" because it has become so abused and diluted by big business who simply want the label to be able to charge more. Many small farmers are touting their sustainable and ethical practices. 

To know what your farmer does you have to be willing to talk to them, and the few farmers who have been offended at my asking questions about their farming practices have not gotten my business. The majority of farmers (conventional and other) are happy to chat about their farming practices. This is the reason I am not a supporter of government involvement in labeling GMOs.  

First, I don't believe that we need the government to step in and legislate this for us. We as a people are quite capable of asking questions and learning where and how our food came about. Those growers that would lie to the common man about the GMO status of their food will also lie to the US Government and pay the insignificant fine if they get caught. 

Second, people seem to have forgotten what the term GMO means. Genetically Modified Organism. This includes tree grafting and cross pollination. This is how food as become what it is today, and is not a bad thing. Now the genetic manipulation of organisms at the cellular level in a lab with constituents that may or may not be toxic to my person is a whole different story. I do love heirloom foods and I do not have a problem with plant grafting. 

For me the best way to know if my food is a GMO that I am OK with or if it is potentially toxic is to know my grower/farmer. Even better to grow my own. That is on my list for 2015. With the help of Lu, we plan to finally get our gardens in this year and start growing our own.