Homemade Giftables! Bath Salts

So if you are a last minute Lucy, like myself, you might be scrambling to find gifts for all those who remain on your list. This is a recipe for ingredients you might already have on hand....

 1lb of Sea Salt (fine or coarse crystals)

4lbs of Epsom Salt

1/2 c Pink Himalayan Salt

Add Ins

Lavender buds

Chamomile buds

Essential Oils

Kerr 1/2 Pint Jars with Lids (19.00 1.60/jar)

Sharpie

Fabric or Ribbon

This recipe makes roughly 10 1/2 pint mason jars of bath salts. I used plain Epsom salts (I found them in with the medical supplies not with bath supplies), fine sea salt (I would recommend coarse sea salt but I had the fine on hand for making salt scrubs), 1/2 c of Pink Himalayan Salt (I found it in bulk at Abundance Co-op). This is your basic recipe. Mostly Epsom salts, then add some sea salt and pink salt if you have it. You could use just Empsom Salts. 

From here you begin to customize. I scooped out (using the 1/5 pint jars) into a small bowl enough of the salt mix for 2 gifts. To this I added Lavender buds and Chamomile buds (this was actually a yummy tea mix from Tracy's Teas) and 3 drops of Roman Chamomile and 2 drops of Lavender essential Oils. Mix well and package. This made my Relax Bath Soak for my MIL and Mums.

It is especially important with Essential Oils and bath salts to let them sit together for 24 hours before you decide if they smell is strong enough.

Then I took out two more containers worth and added orange peel, wild orange (3 drops), grapefruit (2 drops), and Ylang Ylang (1 drop) essential Oils.  This makes Shiny (as in sunshiny) Bath Soak.  

I already had ALL of these supplies on hand, I had purchased bits and pieces through out the year with the idea of doing a bath salts workshop. So technically these 4 gifts cost me nothing (and I have two coconut oil glass jars with salt mix to make more custom blends), but let's do a real cost analysis.  

I used a sharpie to write "relax" and "shiny" on my bath salts. Right on the metal lid. Use a little citrus eo to remove any residue or previous sharpie work. You could also cut a square of fabric to cover the metal lid and make it look super pretty, or use ribbon. 

The cost breakdown:
1 lb of Sea Salt (fine or coarse crystals) - purchased from Trader Joes for $.99
4 lbs of Epsom Salt - purchased from Wegmans for $3.99
1/2 c Pink Himalayan Salt - $1.25 at Abundance Coop Bulk Section
Lavender buds - Free the Tea was given to me as a gift and I enjoyed it very much this was just the very end of it. You could buy this tea from Tracy or go to Abundance Co-op and get Lavender and Chamomile in their bulk section. Better yet plant these in your garden this spring and dry them for next year.
Chamomile buds - same as the Lavender
Orange Peel - FREE
Essential Oils - about $0.05 per drop
Kerr 1/2 Pint Jars with Lids - purchased from Amazon through Cooks.com for 19 with shipping making each container cost $1.60
Sharpie - Free
Fabric or Ribbon - Free
So then each gift costs approximately - $2.50

If you do gift Bath Salts encourage the recipients to return the fancy jars for future gifting. You could also save other containers throughout the year or search garage sales this summer. I don't recommend plastic. 

I selected Kerr jars because they are made in the USA and I try very hard to support this local economy of ours.  I ordered mine from Amazon then saw them for the same price (sans shipping and handling at Target). As much as I don't like the big box stores, I can justify this kind of purchase there. 

Let me know if you have a favorite bath salt recipe....

Company is Coming, Quick Put Out the Fancy Soap!

Often times in this house we "run out" of liquid hand soap. And by run out I mean I simply don't want to take the 3 minutes it takes me to make new foaming hand soap. When this happens the dish soap gets used for hand washing at the kitchen sink and the bar soap moves between the shower and the sink in the upstairs bathroom....

Now when I know we are having people over I TRY to make sure that we have plenty of foaming hand soap, I wouldn't want them to think me uncivilized. Who am I kidding they are family, they know me....

At any rate I made fresh foaming hand soap and I decided to share my recipe with you. I will not link to the original recipe (which is just an advertisement for a essential oil company) primarily because I have modified the recipe and I believe the amount of Essential Oil they are calling for is excessive. I am not an aromatherapist so any of my comments regarding essential oils are my opinions after more than 2 years of reading about the subject. When selecting the oils you plan to use consider the following:

Who will be using this soap?  The exposure to essential oils is very minimal total of 6-10 drops per entire bottle, but if you have little ones, elderly or pregnant mommas using your soap make sure to check the oils for safety for these "special populations".

Am I adding Essential Oils for Smell or for Purpose?  Do you know the REAL purpose of hand soap? Hand soap NEED NOT BE ANTIBACTERIAL. You remove bacteria with proper hand washing. Good hand washing is done with WARM soapy water and at least 2 minutes of friction. Soap is a surfactant. This means that soap reduces the surface tension of grease, oils and germs to make them more readily removed from your hands. If you wash your hands with warm soapy water for a minimum of 2 minutes with friction, not just placing them under running water, you should have no worries about germs. If you are worried about resistant germs, I have bad news, antibacterial soap contributed to the evolution of that bacteria and isn't the solution. That being said many essential oils have antiviral, antibacterial and antifungal properties. One can search the interwebs to find out what the properties of an essential oil are (please note if a website promotes or is in some way connected to a specific company and use wise judgement when accepting the information put out for the purpose of selling a product) and decide what ones to use. Keep in mind however unless you have the science background and the ability to GC/MS test (and read the results) of the oils you are using you never really know what and how much you are getting. 

The beauty of Essential Oils is that LESS IS MORE. No that is not a question. Anyone who tells you differently is simply uninformed or out to sell you more product than you need. Our bodies are wonderfully complex devices and just like the human body can only process so much water at a time (roughly 4 cups per hour, if your kidneys are healthy) it can only process so much essential oil at a time. The concern with essential oils is that they are lipid based. IF they were water based (such as vitamin B) you would simply pee out the excess. However lipid based items (like Vitamin D and K) actually get stored in body fat and can accumulate to dangerous levels. Use the least amount of essential oil you can for the purpose you are seeking. Are you simply seeking smell? Then add a drop or two of you oil and let it blend for 24 hours. If the smell is enough you are done. If you desire a stronger smell add 1 or 2 more drops. Are you seeking a therapeutic effect? The same rules apply. Generally if you can smell it, it is enough to have an effect.

At some point I will do several posts about essential oils. The purpose of my essential oil posts will not be to direct you to any company but to clear up misinformation being supplied by sales reps for some of the leading essential oil companies and to encourage my readers to do their own research (from non-affiliated websites and books) and make their own decisions with the guidance of their medical team. 

At any rate back to the soap:

You will need
Liquid Castile Soap - I use baby gentle mild, if you want to use one of the fragranced ones then omit any additional essential oils
A foaming Soap Bottle
Essential Oils (maximum of 10 drops and 3 oils)
Water

The original recipe called for the addition of fractionated coconut oil, presumably as a hand moisturizer. I made my initial batches with the FCO, but found that even if I remembered to shake the container before I used it the oil settled to the bottle. When I got to the bottom of the container the oil felt greasy. I omitted coconut oil and because castile soap is so gentle I did not find the soap drying or have a need for the oil. So as a time and MONEY saver I omit any kind of liquid vegetable oil from my recipe. 

I already had foaming soap containers on hand. If you don't then ask around you probably have friends who do. Or you can buy new plastic ones that look similar to the short ones with black lids at a place like Aromatools. I have purchased from them in the past (no I am not being compensated, they don't even know I have linked to them) and had excellent customer service. I am sure based on the inexpensive price these items are made in China in horrid conditions, but I have yet to find a US supplier. If anyone knows of any I would LOVE to check them out. Or you can go for the Mason Jar style. If you google then the lids will come up, you can even buy the complete jars through Esty. Again I am sure the lids are made in deplorable condition and I would LOVE to know if anyone knows of a US Manufacturer. Lastly, you can do what I am going to do in the new year: Repurpose glass jars with screw on lids and the foaming pumps from these bottles. I'll post when I get that one figured out. 

There is some debate about using essential oils (especially the citrus ones) in plastic containers. I have used citrus essential oils in these containers and had no known issues. If the citrus oil is breaking down the plastic I haven't seen evidence of that. That being said I DO PREFER to use glass with everything, especially my essential oils and storing products with essential oils. However I am also cost conscious so I use what I have. 

Take you old (or new) foaming soap container and give it a good rinse. Put clean hot water in it and pump it through until it stops foaming. 
Now take the castile soap and add 2 Tablespoons of soap to the container, I use 3 TBSP in the larger container.
Add your essential oils (I use 2 drops of Tea Tree and 2 drops of citrus, this time it was grapefruit).
Fill with cold water (filtered or distilled not necessary), leaving enough room for the foaming pump.

TaDa!

You're done!
For less than $1 worth of materials and supplies I have filled 3 foaming soap dispensers and this will last in my house for at least one month. 

. Let me know if you make your own hand soap, foaming or otherwise and your favorite scent combinations......

Just Call Me Last Minute Lucy

Every year it is the same old story. As I wrap of the Holiday of the past year I vow to be more organized, more on top of my holiday prep. I vow to start my gifts early, and shop early, but then... I wait until the last possible minute to get everything done, and as a result I overspend. I really thought this year would be different. I always had good reasons for not getting things done sooner. I was busy with work, I was stressed and needed some down time, I just didn't have the time or the energy. This year I finished my schooling on 12/12 and I should have had a whole week to myself (while the girls were at school) to work on stuffs.... but I didn't.

Christmas is 3 days away and I still don't have everything done. I started Toothless today, but I don't know if that is going to come out or even get finished. I still need to make sugar scrubs, body butters, bath salts and coupon books. 

I did not send out Christmas cards, but then again I don't think I have sent out Christmas cards for almost a decade now.

I am a procrastinator and an excuse maker. Reasons are just excuses in nice clothing. I acknowledge this and 2015 is the year I work on changing that. I will work to be better prepared. This blog will help me do that. 

I also realize I missed a post yesterday, but rather than try to rush through one last night at 10 p.m., instead I accepted it for what it is. I am still going to try to post for the remaining portion of my 375 blog post per day. Missing yesterday was a just one of those things. 

I used to enjoy the holidays, then some how I got lost in trying to make the holidays perfect. Just before Thanksgiving, Thia told me the thing she remembers about the holidays is how stressed I get. Not the awesome gifts, or the fabulous things I have done to make Christmas "perfect". Not the fabulous and unique wrapping jobs I accomplish. Not the separate Santa paper. Not the unique ornament each year. Not the story book each year. No her memories are of me stressed out at the holidays. Talk about a bitter reality check. I wanted my girls to remember the holidays as a fun time with family, not Mom all stressed out. 

While they are teenagers there is still hope and there is still time. My mission from here on out, is to make sure that all holidays are laid back, and that the focus is family. Forget perfection, just enjoy the moment. 

Toothless can wait till tomorrow. I'll try to finish the head, and maybe start drafting the pattern for the body. Toothless might have been a bit ambitious for a non-sewer without a printer. I have a tutorial with a fab pattern, but my printer and my computer do not see eye to eye, so I am without a printer. 

So as you prepare and navigate this holiday season with family and friends, take a moment every once in a while to smile and enjoy the season. When you find yourself stressing, ask yourself if this doesn't get done, or come out perfectly what is the worst thing that could happen. Then remember you have a home, a family and friends to spend the holidays with. That is all that anyone really needs for the holidays and everyday.

Cleaning - The Down and Dirty!

Google green cleaners and you will find articles and links to commercial "Greenwashed" products as well as recipes for all sorts of cleaners.

You can clean most everything in your house with:

Baking Soda (washing soda for laundry)
Vinegar (plain white)
Citrus (soak your waste citrus peels in white vinegar and you have a powerful window and surface cleaner)
Liquid Castile Soap

Most of the cleaning in this house is done with just plain white vinegar. White vinegar kills MOST germs, but not salmonella bacteria. You can kill Salmonella bacteria with warm (notice I did not say HOT) soapy water. 

The best cleaner in your arsenal is plain liquid castile soap. We do not need to disinfect surfaces (we really would be healthier if we had limited and regular exposure to common bacteria and germs).  

When I want a gentle scrubbing agent I use baking soda, castile soap and a touch of vinegar. 

Adding Essential Oils to your homemade cleaning products can make them smell good, may increase their ability to cut (emulsify) grease (like citrus), may add to the anti-bacterial effect, but they are not necessary. 

In 2015 I'll share one cleaning tip per week and share all my tried and true cleaning solution recipes (all 2 of them).

The best advice on cleaning is to keep up with it. So whether or not you are way behind (I am) or you clean regularly, doing a little bit each day/week makes all the difference. 

If you try to clean you whole home at once you'll be so exhausted (if you are able to finish) that you won't want to do any kind of maintenance the next day and thus the cycle continues. 

The holidays have started for some (Happy Hanukkah, Happy Solstice) and are just around the corner for others (Merry Christmas), but if you have company coming and you need to clean-up your home and your act here are some simple tips and guidelines:

1. They are there to see you, so unless you live in a place that is truly filthy relax.
2. Clean only those areas they are likely to see.
3. Pick your battles.

Remember your guests are your guests. They are there to visit with you and celebrate the holidays. They are not there to judge your housekeeping. Not many people actually keep homes worthy of being in a magazine. My house is lived in, and yes it could be cleaner (and it will be in 2015) but it is my home. I am grateful to have a home.

Are your guests likely to be in your basement, will any bedrooms not be used, how about your home office? Concentrate on the following rooms in this order:

Bathrooms - Bathrooms should always be clean

Kitchen - if you are cooking or they are eating in your home you want the kitchen clean. We are not talking about cleaning the fridge, instead give the floor a sweep and mop, wipe the counters and stove down with warm soapy water and put away any unnecessary clutter. 

Dinning/Living room - Clean the floors, wipe down table surfaces for dust, put away the clutter, and shake the furniture cushions (preferably outside)

Guest Room(s) - Clean up only if they are in fact staying with you or if they have small children who might need to nap. I just shut the down on my and Thia's bedrooms.....

So take a moment prioritize and remember that your guests are coming to visit with you not judge your home. 

Conversations with the Universe

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine the telephone ringing....
(OK open your eyes and just picture in your mind the following scenario)

Bring..... Bring.....
"Hello..."
"Hello, is this Tree?"
"Yes?"
"Well Tree this is the Universe calling and everything you want, everything you dreamed is just sitting there waiting for you to grab hold of it."
Click...

Now the Universe isn't really going to pick up the phone and call me, or you, but at the beginning of 2014 I set an intention. I set the intention that I was going to be helping people and I was finally going to be happy. 

My whole life had been planned out (in part by me, in response to what I thought would make others happy or proud)since I was in the third grade. I was going to graduate high school in the top 10%, I was going to college and then law school, I was going to do great things as a lawyer and even make partner by age 30.

I try to remember why I wanted to be a lawyer in the first place, it is not an easy thing. I was the youngest child and my earliest memories are of being compared to my older siblings. I was the "healthy one". My oldest sister was late (requiring a c-section) and was as a result a very large baby. She was always big for her age (much like my youngest child). She was not the smartest, but she had a big heart. My middle sister was unhealthy from the start. She was jaundiced and suffered from colic. She was a finicky child, and had a host of issues growing up. 

I was the "healthy child". We didn't really have the opportunity to explore sports and art. When it came to playing with the neighbor kids (just the one set at the top of the hill) I wasn't very fast, I wasn't great at frisbee or soccer. So I assumed I was just a mediocre athlete. When it came to art projects I never saw my macaroni art as "worthy" (wonder where my kids get their self-criticism from?).

In my household artsy careers were really frowned upon. I know that my parents wanted what was best for us, and they thought that meant pushing us to be what they defined as successful. I had an educational debate (argument) with my teacher when I was in the third grade (I won) and from that point forward I was told I would be an excellent lawyer. I latched on to that as it was the first thing that I seemed to be good at. 

I was a smart kid, but I wasn't the smartest kid. I wasn't very good at singing, or playing music, and my two left feet had me less than coordinated. 

Lawyering was something I could excel at, and this is how this became my plan in life. 

I thought I could do some good, maybe work in the public sector. Then in my undergraduate studies I married a wonderful man who helped me see that there was more to life than a plan that made everyone else happy. Yet still I felt pressured to go down the law school path, but I hated it. I stayed at home with my girls. I LOVED being a stay at home mom, but the comments would bother me.
"Since you don't do anything anyways..... would you mind....."
"It is such a waste for someone as smart as you to be at home with the kids..."
"When do you think you'll get back on track?"
I felt pressured to go back to work, and I WANTED to go back to work. I craved the accolades that I got for being good at what I do. I craved conversations that didn't start with "why" and end with "why". So I went back to work as a paralegal. 
I was good at being a paralegal and I felt like it was a good compromise. I was in the legal field and I was good at it. I however wasn't helping people. Just the opposite. 
I started in a foreclosure firm, where it was my job to take away houses and get them sold at auction. I had to field phone calls from homeowners with sob stories and at the end of my 60 hour week I felt lousy. 
I moved on to work in business and tax law. This felt good. There was no bad guy and no good guy. But this wasn't helping people. Eventually, I ended up working in insurance defense, it was our firm's job to give people nothing or as little as possible, to prove that people weren't really injured or not as injured as they claimed, or if they were injured it wasn't our insured's fault....
I was working long hours and ultimately I felt lousy about the kind of work I was doing. 

So at the start of 2014 I put out the intention that I would be happy in 2014 and I would be doing something that HELPED people. I thought the path I would take was one of teaching wellness classes using essential oils as a platform. I met wonderful women who showed me that I was not alone in wanted to empower individuals to take charge of their wellness and lives. In early March 2014 the Universe apparently felt I wasn't taking the call and gave me a big shove. I was let go from my job of almost 3 years. 

I was suddenly (but truly not unexpectedly) unemployed. I went through the paces, I looked for replacement work. I was at the top of the income bracket and the jobs just weren't there. 

On a whim I decided to head over to the massage school less than .5 mile from my home. I had been to the website before. I had even considered enrolling in their night program once my youngest graduated from high school. So I met with a fiery woman in admissions who gave me the information and tools I needed to make a decision. 

I discussed it with my husband, and with his support I made the decision to enroll. 

I was terrified. What if after spending all this time and money it didn't work out? Every time there was doubt in my heart, there was a light along my path. A comment from an instructor ("one of the best massages I have ever received from a student or a pro"), fellow students encouraging each other to achieve our dreams, or women in the world pushing me to reach for my dreams.

On the first day of hands on we discussed the techniques and styles we would be learning. One of them was pregnancy. From that moment forward I knew I wanted to do pregnancy massage. I didn't know why, but I knew I wanted to.

I aced the pregnancy course, and I am eager to find additional material to learn more about pregnancy. 

Again fear crept in and I wondered could I be successful in a pregnancy focused practice?

As fate would have it, we were preparing our business plans as part of our business course and I Googled "pregnancy massage, Rochester, New York". Several companies (spa and private practice) came up that offered pregnancy massage, but only one that was truly pregnancy focused. Her website was professional (not just a template) and well thought out. I hesitated. I wanted to reach out to her and just chat with her. 

Just at that moment Tom came down to check on the progress we were making on our business plans and he asked me "Have you researched if there are any other pregnancy practices in the area?"

"Actually, yes."

"And..."

"There is one. Her website is well crafted and professional."

"You should reach out to her, she is a graduate and I think she would love to chat with you...."

So I did, and she was very open to chatting with me and mentoring me. She is a wonderful women who is successful. I thought I would need to start under someone, and she assured me that once I am licensed if I put my business out there (professionally) then I will have no trouble finding clients (she'll even send some my way).

Meeting with her boosted my confidence and I started to think more seriously about my true business plan. I started to worry about affording space, and finding a space that I could meet new clients before traveling to them in their homes. Again the universe called and a friend who is an inspiration posted about have a room for rent in her space. We met and it is perfect. So in mid-March or early April (when I get my license) I will be working out of Awakened Athlete (the former Baby Bump Academy).

Again I started to doubt my success with a pregnancy focused practice (will it be affordable, will women be willing to take care of themselves) and the universe called again. Due to the large snowstorm last week the regular meeting of Women Entrepreneurs United was rescheduled. I was fortunate to attend one meeting in the early summer before I started massage school, but due to timing wasn't going to be able to attend again until January 2015. The meeting was rescheduled for this morning, so I was able to attend. 

Brenda led us through a discussion about fear. What is our biggest fear? For me my biggest fear is FAILURE. This has been a decade long dream (not the pregnancy practice, but becoming a LMT and helping people) so what if I fail? Being able to put that fear out in the open with a group of supportive women (who have faced the same fear) was helpful. I recognize that I am afraid of failing, but also that the only way I can fail is to not act, or to give up once I have started. 

The theme for 2015 is intention, and Coleen shared an image of a Kite with its tail just whipping in the wind. It made me think. I am going to create a kite for 2015 and tie my intentions to the tail. This will be a functional kite so once it is complete I'll have to take it out on a windy day and let it soar. Then as the year goes on I can add intentions to the tail and each time take it out and fly it. When it is not flying high it will be on my office wall where it can be a daily inspiration and reminding to keep soaring for my dreams. 

I am grateful to the Universe for always bringing the right person into my life at just the right time. 

Why Organic is Worthless!

I have for the past five or so years been yelling from the rooftops... OK so I just tell anyone who will listen to me... that commercial organic products are absolutely worthless. Check out this article which I found in my facebook feed from Ever Growing Farm about why commercial organic and organic for that matter are currently worthless.

Factory Farms Producing Organic Milk/Eggs

I have been encouraging people to make their first priority to know their farmer. It is not about the label that is slapped on the food, or the government regulations. The reality is that when it comes to big farm business they will slap any label on the food to make extra money, and they have the money to buy the label in the first place, and pay the minimal fines IF they get caught. 

I remember when farmers used to have to defend that they did not have the organic label because the process to become certified was more about making money for the state and less about organic foods. There was a lot of red tape and cost that small farmers could not afford. There were also regulations (proof that there had been no chemicals applied to the land in the last decade) that some small farmers just couldn't meet. Those farmers were passionate about the organic methods that they used, despite not being certified. I used to purchase from those farmers (and still do). 

Then when big businesses (like the cereal companies) started getting into the organic market I knew that the standard would be diluted (and it has been, there is a percentage of non-organic components allowed in a product labeled organic, and now some amounts of pesticides and chemical fertilizers are allowed on organic lands). 

If you know farmers, then you know that there has been a movement from the term organic to the term sustainable. This is a self-imposed standard for which there is no regulation. I believe the government regulation is the problem. It leads the average individual to the false security that someone else (the government) has their (the individual's) best interest at heart and has already investigated and protected the individual. The REALITY of government oversight is that the government creates a lot of red tape and a process for everything they oversee. Big businesses have no problem keeping up with the red tape, they can pay someone to deal with the red tape and fill out the applications.

What government is concerned with is keeping its seat in office (which means making the lobbyists and moneyed constituents happy, and if you haven't figured it out yet that means keeping big business happy). 

Instead if we removed regulation of industries like Organic and took personal responsibility to investigate our farmers and their farms WE would know our food and the conditions it comes from. 

It is my intention to interview and visit several local farms, meat and produce and share those interviews on this blog. 

For the time being I challenge all of you to find out who the parent company of Cascadian Farms is.  Then ask yourself what does that REALLY mean for Cascadian Farms' "organic" products?

Fight Like A Girl

We started with Martial Arts for Thia, she was always tall for her age and a bit awkward.  A friend of our suggested Martial Arts and even invited us to try their dojo. Thia took to it, although she is currently taking a break (for studies and the school musical). Lu was busy with school, school sports and the musicals. That first summer she did a summer program and she loved it. Lu took breaks as she needed for her sports seasons and the plays. Then we were asked to help with a local fight. They needed more ushers. We got to watch all the fights (from the BEST seats in the house) and all we had to do was show people to their seats and make sure the aisles were kept clear. After the fight Lu was pumped. She wanted to know what she had to do to get into the ring. 

For those of you who don't know Lu yet she is determined. Once she sets her mind to something there is no changing it and no deterring her. It has not been an easy road to get to fight training. She was an orange belt, so she was told the dojo preferred that the fighters be purple belts and up. Then she was told she needed to attend the Saturday sparring classes regularly (shortly after the Saturday sparring classes were cancelled). Then she was told she needed to make the drive to Syracuse for fight training. Then the fight training schedule kept changing. Now we make the drive to B-ville twice a week (once her fight is scheduled it will be 3-4 times per week). 

Her dojo family (and they are a family) all support her decision to fight. They encourage her and some even say they admire her courage because they don't think they could get in the ring.  What disturbs her and SO MANY FEMALE ATHLETES is the naysayers. She and I have both fielded the same questions since she started. Last night as we arrived in B-ville for Monday night class a parent of a dojo student (not in fight training) was trying to be polite and make conversation. She realized she forgot her wraps (she just got wraps from her Nana) and the parent asked her "Didn't you forget your mouth piece last week?" 

Instantly, I could see her mouthpiece sitting in the yogurt cup on the counter (she must have washed it over the weekend) and I said "You did grab your mouth piece from the counter?" Lu was just a bit confused "Why would my mouth piece be on the counter?" 

"Isn't it sitting in a yogurt cup next to the sink?"

I could see her heart sink. In fight training rib gear is optional, shins are optional, but headgear, mouth guards and jewel guards are NOT.

The parent wanting to be helpful let us know we could go to Kinney's (a drug store in the Cuse area) for a mouth guard. I doubted they would have a specialty guard (she is allergic to latex) and the type she needed (darn small set jaw) but was willing to run out there. Before we left I let Shihan know where we were headed and he let her stay without a mouth guard because the plan was just to work pads. Phew! We dodged a bullet, but we will make sure to run a checklist before we leave next time (tonight).

As I settled in with my book, the parent asked how I felt about the drive from the ROC to the Cuse. I told him I didn't mind it (and truth is I do not). Sure there are times that I am tired and would rather not make the 1.5 hour drive, but then I see her on the floor and listen to her afterwords and it is always worth it. I value the three hours we have together in the car to talk (even when she is exhausted and emotional). He then wanted to know what I would do when the weather started to turn bad. 

Truth is I am sure in Western/Upstate New York I am sure we will miss a training class or two in the winter due to weather, but overall I don't mind driving in the snow. I mind the way other people drive in the snow, but I am a confident winter driver. I am a December birthday and I learned to drive a commercial van in the snow.  He mentioned how bad the thruway can get, and knowing people who have made the drive (our ROC instructors) in previous winters I know the thruway can get bad. I also know I can drive around it, choose not to go, or shack it up with dojo family in that area if need be.

All of this fine, even helpful. Maybe I am not from an area that gets lots of heavy snow, maybe I haven't thought about these things. Then the conversation went where they always go...

"Why do you let her do this? I mean she is such a pretty girl." 

These statements are always well meaning and I know it can be hard to understand why any girl in today's society, where we are so judged on our physical appearance,would put her face in the way of a broken nose, black eyes and potential cauliflower ears....

No one asks why parents let their boys do: football, rugby, BMX, box or MMA

Why because the societal standards say boys are supposed to be rugged and ruff and tumble. A man with a broken nose is even more hunky (ala Mathew McConaughey - although since he made it big its been cleaned up) and scars are signs of manliness.

It irritates me that female athletes (I was one once upon a time) are expected not only to excel as an athlete but still look pretty. Lu was telling me about a new MMA fighter who has quite a bit of talent but all the news outlets can focus on is the fact she looks like a super model and will this ruin her good looks. 

All I know is that as a parent it is my responsibility to support my children (regardless of gender) to reach for their dreams. No one would question if she wanted to be a ballerina (which is far more physically damaging, check out a retired ballerina's feet, ask about her joints and let's not even get into the body dis morphia where you are old at 25 and fat at a size 6) but everyone questions her and me about her wanting to be a fighter. 

I understand the concern for her physical safety, I worry about kids and adults with dangerous professions and hobbies, but it always becomes a commentary on looks. Somehow because she is beautiful she should not want to be a fighter. So if she was ugly would anyone question why she was getting in the ring? 

I trust Impact Martial Arts and Team Andrello to train her to be the best fighter she can be. I trust Shihan, the Barge, her instructors and her teammates to prepare her for the ring. Could she break her nose? Her orbital bones? A rib? Could she suffer a concussion? These are all possibilities, but she is going to do this with or without my support. If you think I have an option in letting her, then you haven't met my very strong willed athlete. 

Show your concern for an athlete's well being, just don't make it about gender. Not for BOYS or GIRLS. Athletes are athletes and what they need is support for what they are doing, encouragement and yes people who are concerned about their safety. Being concerned about weather or not she'll be pretty when she is done fighting isn't really concern for her safety it is an individual's lack of real knowledge. Now I know changing gender standards is the long road, but talking to people who ask me these questions is what I can do now. It doesn't mean that it doesn't irritate me when people ask me "Why do you let such a pretty girl do that?" It does bother me more when someone asks her "Why do you want to do that, you are so pretty"