Food Waste Fridays
Follow Fridays
Food Hop Fridays
Foodie Fridays
I thought about a number of topics to write about on Fridays, and they all seem to have one thing in common (at-least for me). Frugality is not a bad word, and right now while I am seeking Financial Freedom it is my word. I have never thought being frugal was a bad thing. Being stingy or being cheap, those are bad words. I have read blogs that have promoted doing things in the name of frugality (stealing toilet paper for businesses, etc.) and that is not what Frugal Fridays is about.
Frugal Fridays is about my efforts (and failures) at being frugal along my road to financial freedom. I have never lived a lavish lifestyle, but there are certainly time when I am less than frugal. This will be my attempt to be accountable to my frugal lifestyle.
Food Waste Fridays, I have followed more than one blogger who participated in Food Waste Fridays, but I personally cannot see devoting an entire post to just my own personal food waste. If I am wasting that much food each week, I have a bigger problem. Certainly my food waste has increased over the past year and I believe I can link that directly to stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed and having no control.
Today I can tell you that I have 1 cup of mashed sweet potatoes, from Thanksgiving to throw away. I had originally frozen them. But then I got them out for Lu to eat one day and she did not. I should have then made them into something, a sweet potato cake or something. But I did not and now they are not safe to eat. I have 1 cup of red quinoa to throw away. This was something Lu made and did not finish. Again I should have thrown it in the freezer for later use or used it up myself. There was a package of romaine hearts. These had begun look slimy and smell off. I salvaged the bases which I will cut up for tacos in a day or two, as well as half of a zucchini. Again I cut out the part that was no good and salvaged the rest. It will need to be used up soon (maybe a hash with some onions, peppers and mushrooms).
While I am on the topic of food that needs to be used up, I also have 2 over ripe avocados. I have no idea if they are still good (or how to tell if they are good). So I'm going to Pop out for some googling....and there is no definitive on whether or not it is safe to eat. I have in the past used soft/smooshy avocados to make chocolate mousse. So I guess I'll cut into these two later today and see how the look, smell and taste. If all goes well I'll have some yummy chocolate mousse, if not I'll update my food waste.
Additionally, I have 4 pomegranates in my fridge from way back in September. They have lost their bright red color and seem to look dehydrated. I'll see if I can salvage any seeds for use in smoothies. Then there are carrots which have been around for a maybe a month. Some left over bagged salad from last week, and some mini oranges that should be investigated. The last thing to deal with is sweet potatoes.They have started to get spots and look "dried up". So I'll cook up the ones that have spots and scoop out the flesh to freeze for Lu to use in smoothies. I might give the pup and kitties a little treat of sweet potato as well.
One of the good things about evaluating my food waste and food situation is that I can look at what needs to be eaten, used or frozen and plan the next week's meals from there. Given that my food budget is $368 per month to feed three adults. Yeah I said adults. Both of my kiddos are taller than I am, and eat as much if not more than I do. That is what SNAP has determined is required to feed the three of us 3 meals a day 30/31 days in a month. Fortunately for me, Lu does spend 2-3 days with her father where I only have to feed her either breakfast or dinner. Even still it is tough and if it hadn't been for the Friends of the Rochester Public Market's campaign giving me $2 extra dollars for every $5 of EBT at the public market (and lots of supplementing) I would not have survived.
I know some will make the argument that SNAP counts on kids of school age receiving at least Lunch at School (and some breakfast too), but there is no box on the application to indicate that I home school one of my children, or to indicate food allergies. I'll be doing a separate post on Food Stamps in the near future. But even my Lu can rarely eat at school. She cannot eat Gluten, Rice, Soy, Grains (except on very rare occasions), legumes, etc. She cannot even eat off the school salad bar, because despite having more than one Celiac student enrolled in the school they cannot figure out to remove the croutons and noodles from the salad bar to prevent cross contamination. Lu used to eat at the school from the salad bar until she found a crouton in her salad and realized that the reason she was still suffering flares and the butterfly rash was likely due to cross contamination. She now just eats whole apples, bananas or oranges or brings her own liquid (smoothie) lunches to school.
So this week's Frugal Friday is about food waste, making me accountable for what I wasted and getting me back on track.
How did I do?
It was starting to look like 2016 was going down the same bumpy spiral path that I had somehow followed for most of 2015. I was given news that was not what I had expected nor what I had hoped. I was battling a head cold and I was allowing the sorrow and pity to guide my focus and my thoughts.
A conversation with a good friend, some time with my kids helped me to realize that I still had options (maybe not the options I wanted, but options none the less).
I have two generally healthy kids. Lulu wants to be a UFC fighter and she has the dedication to make that dream come true. Sampson is finally experiencing regular joy now that he has come to grips with his true identity, and this year is about him finding himself so that he can start down his own path. I have the privilege of watching these two wonderful children along their journeys and sometimes even being a part of them.
Finances are not where I would like them to be. So it is time to start hard core cleaning, purging and selling. I have an offer for some contract work starting mid to end of January and I have two chair events mid January.
Once the divorce is final I will close out my 401k (yes I know tax penalties) and be able to get caught up and hopefully afford a decent, reliable car. If there is not enough in my 401k then I will likely also close my Metlife Annuity which will give me enough for a car and to finish furnishing the apartment with things like curtain rods and shelving.
But that is all down the road. Right now what I can focus on is my kids, my pets and clearing out the clutter from my apartment.
It is not even a one day at a time motto, my motto is one moment at a time. In this moment that I am presently in, am I enjoying all that there is to enjoy; am I present; is it enough?
Not FOUR days into this new and fabulous year I received bad news (on two fronts) and I allowed myself to be swallowed by sorrow and self-pity. Having a head cold that just won't go away and stay away didn't help. Words of wisdom from a good friend did.
I may have hoped to start my Trashy Tuesday posts yesterday and missed it, but there is always next week.
I can wallow in self-pity and continue on the path of no control or I can FOCUS on what I can do.
I cannot make my divorce happen any sooner. I CAN be optimistic that the divorce proceedings will go smoothly and quickly this year.
I cannot make DSS open a TA case for me and pay my back rent. I CAN communicate with my landlord. I CAN clean my apartment. I CAN continue to purge my clutter.
I cannot will myself healthy. I CAN focus on habits that encourage my immune system to start working again.
There will be set backs, disappointments and days where I question myself and my existence. What will matter going forward is how I choose to respond to those set backs.
I will continue to clean house and if I have to pack my things and vacate this property I have a house which I CAN return to or I CAN move in with my parents for a very short period of time.
No matter what I will continue to have faith that the UNIVERSE is guiding me and I will find my happiness and joy in 2016. It is there deep inside my soul. A little ember that I must protect and grow and fan the flames when the time is right.
As I mentioned in yesterday's post, somewhere along the line in 2015 I lost focus. I am not a big fan of Resolutions. I have in the past called them Goals. I do like the concept of starting a new year with a new plan, but I don't believe that one has to wait for the new year to start a new plan or that those plans, resolutions or goals should come with the expectation of instant achievement.
The primary issue I find with my past resolutions is not that they were lofty, lofty goals are good. When one shoots for the moon one is sure to land among the stars. Instead the issue is that I have set lofty goals with little or no planning how to reach those goals. Then either several small set backs discourage me, or I simply forget about the goals with the demands of daily lives.
Instead for 2016 I am simply going to be focused.
Focused on:
ABUNDANCE - There is abundance on this earth and I am fortunate enough to share in that abundance.
I will not focus on what I do not have, I will focus on what I do HAVE. The rest will fall into place.
ABILITY - I am an ably bodied person capable of doing and learning, failing my way to success.
For too long the little voice inside my head has said I cannot. And the support outside my head said YOU cannot and you DO NOT. No more. The voice in my head will be retrained to say I can try. I can try and try again. Sure there are some things that I will not conquer, but there is nothing that I cannot give a fair try and if it comes out a complete disaster, at least I can say I tried.
FREEDOM - I am free from all constraints, the Universe is my home and my guide.
I will no longer seek anyone's approval or permission for my life. I will live the life that flutters in my dreams and that lingers on my mind. I will be the source of my own happiness.
HAPPINESS - I am in complete control of my own happiness.
These are the focus for my 2016. They are achievable, but will not be satisfied by January 30th. Only on the last day of the year can I look back and honestly evaluate if I was resolved in my focus or if I let myself lose yet another year of my life.
I thought 2015 was going to be MY year. I started out the year asking for guidance from the universe. I tried to repair my marriage, only to discover it was beyond repair. I made a decision to move out of my home and start over. The year started out so well, then I lost focus.
I stopped focusing on what was in front of me, where I was going and all the wonderful things I had in my life. I started focusing on all that I didn't have (time or money - I never seem to have both at the same time). I became resentful of my estranged husband for the money he has.
As Christmas approached I went from thinking this was going to be the best Christmas ever, to wanting to skip or cancel the holiday.
2015 was not a total loss. I learned.
I learned that my Christmas spirit has been lacking because of worry and stress. Initially worry about upsetting my husband with my holiday spirit as well as worry about making the holiday happen. Even without my Grinch husband I found it difficult to enjoy my holiday. I worried about having lights for the tree (which I found I had and a true friend offered me more should I need them). I worried about having the supplies to bake (we did not bake this year because I did not have the money or supplies to bake). I worried about being able to put even one gift under the tree (I never feel confident in my craftiness). I worried about being able to even serve Christmas dinner.
I learned that while I have felt alone for the majority of my marriage and as a parent, I also feel alone because I am empty. I have no confidence in myself or my abilities.
I learned that Christmas will go on, with or without means. I had one of the best Christmases I have had since I was a young child (more on that later this week).
I learned that my focus needed to shift. I need to shift from what I do not have and what I cannot do, to what I do have and what I can do (more on that later this week).
I learned I have a lot of friends and just who was not truly a friend. I did not lose any friends. Those who walked away were never my friends.
I learned I have strength that I have yet to tap, and that happy is not easy. It takes work and every day I get up I have a choice. A choice to move forward and look for the good and the joy or stay stagnant and woeful.
2015 may not have been the year I thought it would be, but it was the year that I needed it to be.
I needed to feel utterly alone to realize that feeling alone was not the result of the people around me, but an emptiness in myself. Something that I cannot fill with food or stuff, people or events. It is something that I have to fill from myself. I have to grow my own confidence, joy and self-worth. No one can do that for me.
So look at 2016 this is going to be my year.
I woke to the first day of 2016 with a dusting of new fallen snow (not even really enough to cover the ground) and a dash of snow falling from the sky. It was as if Mother Nature and Old Man Winter couldn't decide if they wanted to start the New Year with winter.
I am one of the few who LOVES the snow. I love watching it fall peacefully to the ground. I love the view of untouched new fallen snow. I am not going to pretend that I like grey slush or the way people sometimes forget to be decent human beings on snowy highways, but I won't blame snow for the behavior of a few.
After a leisurely morning I had the JOY of making pizza fries with my Sampson and sitting and binge watching Jessica Jones on Netflix.
What are Pizza Fries you ask? They are a simply joy, something this house is focusing on more and more. Start with potatoes, sometimes we use red, sometimes Yukon, and sometimes Russet. My preference would be to use local potatoes, but, sometimes that isn't feasible. I am learning to accept that which I have no control over.
Slice your potatoes into fries, toss them in a bowl with oil of your choice (we typically use Olive Oil, but have also used Coconut Oil) and some seasonings. Again this is totally up to what you like. Right now we use Onion Onion (or Onion Powder), Garlic Powder, Salt, Pepper and Basil. Spread on a pan (with the large batches we have been doing we have been using a large roasting pan). Bake at 425 for 20 -30 minutes. At this point your fries SHOULD be cooked all the way through. The bottoms are typically nice and golden. You an at this point flip them all. We usually just shake them around and or stir them. Add shredded mozzarella to your liking. Add Pepperoni to your liking. We cut the pepperoni into quarters the second time we made this dish and found it to be more manageable. You an leave your oven on or turn it off. Since all we want to do is melt the cheese we turn the oven off and use the residual heat to melt the cheese and warm the pepperoni. If you are a fan of tomato sauce, you could always heat some in a pan and dip your fries in that. We however, LOVE white pizza and that is essentially the flavor we get when we season our fries.
If you are particular about your fries being evenly golden and crunchy on both sides you will need to flip your fries and return them to the oven at 425 for another 5-10 minutes before moving on to the cheese and pepperoni.
Sampson loves making fries and he does a pretty good job. We adjust our recipe based on what we have on hand and we are forever being creative. A better blogger would have taken pictures of the fries, but I was ravenous so we just plated them and ate them. Maybe next time.
Happy New Year! What Do You Want 2016 to Be For You?
For me this is the time of year when I look back on my year as a whole and start thinking about my intentions and focus for the year to come. This time last year I was once again dreading the Christmas holiday, and I began to wonder how that happened.
How did I go from being the girl/teen/woman who loved everything Christmas (I couldn't wait for Thanksgiving weekend because that was the start of family gatherings and all things Christmas) to dreading my favorite time of year?
The answer is simple. Even though I grew up with plenty of simple Christmases (many years the only gifts under the tree were the homemade ones my parents could put together) I felt like I was failing my family. Christmas for me was never about spending money or store bought gifts. My fondest memories are of the items my family exchanged, a handmade Cabbage Patch Doll, Hope Chest or the Jewelry Box my father helped me build for one of my sisters.
From Lu's first Christmas I set the intention of keeping the holiday simple and about family not about the gifts. And no matter what I had to spend on gifts there were always plenty of gifts. My mother (love her dearly) always goes overboard when it comes to Christmas for the grands (part of me wonders if it is to make of for the holidays I had as a child). My then mother-in-law would always bring a sack of presents as well. No matter what the finances I always managed to fill stockings and have plenty of presents under the tree and put a nice meal on the table. Some years (many years) I wasn't able to do any Holiday Baking but still there were cookies (from Nana and Gramma).
Christmases with my husband were far more complicated than those from my childhood and at first I enjoyed them. I went from Christmas Eve being about Oyster Stew and Christmas Eve service to a large and elaborate celebration (including a visit from Mr. and Mrs. Claus) with my husband's entire extended family. I was in charge of the shopping and I took pride in finding just the right gift for the kids (and later for the Secret Santa Exchange) and being able to do so with our limited funds.
So what changed?
The truth is I changed.
I was no longer content with struggling pay check to pay check and having to wait for birthday money in order to pay for Christmas. I was stressed out at having to wait until 10 days (or less) before Christmas to be able to buy gifts (and needing to ship some of those gifts downstate in time for the Holiday), holiday meal supplies and if anything was left over holiday baking supplies.
I resented that my husband did not contribute to the holidays (although I do have memories of him finding Christmas Music and/or Christmas movies on the internet for me and the kids). I resented being solely responsible for making Christmas special not only for my kids but for our Secret Santa Recipients in his family. I resented that he got to keep his Birthday money (we are both December birthdays) for something fun for himself, while mine went to pay back bills and for the holiday. I resented that my Christmas money always went to paying bills in January and February (because we never had enough to get through the month) and that my "share" of our tax return also went to back bills and paying for Lu's birthday celebration (and that there never seemed to be money for Sam's birthday celebration). I resented everything about my husband and our marriage.
This was not good for me, for my marriage or for my husband. My resentment made it so that I was not able to enjoy or appreciate the little things that my husband DID do for ME. Like the day I came home from work to find our artificial Christmas tree put together and lights plugged in, and even an effort at fluffing the branches.
So this time last year I made a decision to put the focus on fixing my marriage. I was determined that if I could make my husband happy that I would once again have a happy marriage. I felt that the key to that happiness was in decluttering our home. After all he was always commenting on how much of a mess my stuff was. I was determined to appreciate and praise all the little things that he did for me and the kids.
The problem then (and through out our whole marriage) was that I was the only person working toward fixing our broken marriage. I had always been the one to compromise, I had taken interest in the things they interested him, but never the other way around. The more I tried to appreciate a day that he did the dishes, the laundry or swept the downstairs floors all I could think of was all the times that he didn't do those things, or that if it wasn't easy and free he didn't do anything to try to make me happy.
We agreed not to exchange gifts, occasionally one of us (usually me) would break that rule and give a gift. However, every Christmas I filled his stocking when I filled the kids stockings. Then last year Lu took it upon herself to fill my stocking. Up to that point I had always "filled" my own stocking and by filled I mean threw a few things in so it wasn't obvious to small children that my stocking was neglected. Having Lu take over filling my stocking made me both happy (happy that she could see that my stocking was neglected, but sad that her father couldn't or didn't care).
Another holiday crashed and burned. I remember getting into a fight with my husband just moments before leaving for his family's Christmas Eve get together and the tension in the car was thick. Then, like always, the moment we were in front of other people he put on his charm and pretended (like he always did) that we were a perfect happy family. These moments used to make me smile (because I would get to see briefly the man I fell in love with) but at that party I had to keep walking away from the party before I started crying (because now it was a painful reminder of the man I fell in love with who only came out when other people were around).
This post isn't an effort to condemn my husband as the reason our marriage failed, but simply a realization on my part. The failure or success of a marriage is rarely tied to one person alone. Success requires both parties to participate, and failure in our case was the result of neither party communicating. I am notoriously a lousy communicator, especially when it comes to advocating for my own feelings and being treated well. I dislike conflict.
It wasn't that long ago when Sam said he was finally looking forward to Christmas. This nearly broke my heart. All the effort I put into making Christmas magical and what does Sam recall of his past 13 Christmases? That his mother was sad and stressed. He is looking forward to this Christmas because he doesn't think I will be sad or stressed, and so for his sake I am really trying.
This however is yet another super stressful Holiday and I am beginning to wonder what I am doing wrong. Last weekend we all went to pick out a tree. I appreciated the convenience of a fake tree (and getting the fake tree was my idea and I used my Christmas money to buy one 15 years ago after Christmas), I have always missed the smell of a real tree (not the almost right smell of a pine candle, but the real smell of a real tree) and the look of a real tree. So thinking I could get a tree for $10 but prepared to pay up to$30 the kids and I went tree shopping. Our tree cost us $54 ($4 more than I had to spend on the holiday not just the tree). I quietly talked the kids down from a $68 tree to a $54 without letting on that it had to do with finances.
The tree is up and it is gorgeous, but it brings me both joy and sadness. Likely our tree will be without lights this year. I have 2 boxes of white lights and I think 3 strands of blue lights (somewhere in the boxes in the attic). I have plenty of ornaments to decorate it, but I don't have anything for under the tree. I don't have the supplies to make homemade gifts, and I don't have the money for homemade gifts.
I don't have the money to pay the remainder of this month's rent (which is already late), to pay the RG&E bill, put gas in the car, buy groceries (I have $160 in food stamps for the remaining days of December and until the 5th day of January), buy supplies for gluten free holiday baked goods.
Somehow things have worked out this year. I have placed my faith in the Universe and it has not let me down, so now that is where I will place my holiday/end of year worries. I believe that the universe will take care of my holiday and that somehow things will work themselves out.
This post isn't about sympathy or asking for anything from my readers, those of you who know me, know I wouldn't accept (there are people in far worse situations than mine) but instead about getting those feelings out in the open in an effort to move forward.
Is there anyone else who loves this holiday but finds the stress of being expected (even if self imposed) to create a perfect magical holiday to be overwhelming?
