Finding Joy

It was starting to look like 2016 was going down the same bumpy spiral path that I had somehow followed for most of 2015. I was given news that was not what I had expected nor what I had hoped. I was battling a head cold and I was allowing the sorrow and pity to guide my focus and my thoughts. 

A conversation with a good friend, some time with my kids helped me to realize that I still had options (maybe not the options I wanted, but options none the less). 

I have two generally healthy kids. Lulu wants to be a UFC fighter and she has the dedication to make that dream come true. Sampson is finally experiencing regular joy now that he has come to grips with his true identity, and this year is about him finding himself so that he can start down his own path. I have the privilege of watching these two wonderful children along their journeys and sometimes even being a part of them. 

Finances are not where I would like them to be. So it is time to start hard core cleaning, purging and selling. I have an offer for some contract work starting mid to end of January and I have two chair events mid January. 

Once the divorce is final I will close out my 401k (yes I know tax penalties) and be able to get caught up and hopefully afford a decent, reliable car. If there is not enough in my 401k then I will likely also close my Metlife Annuity which will give me enough for a car and to finish furnishing the apartment with things like curtain rods and shelving.

But that is all down the road. Right now what I can focus on is my kids, my pets and clearing out the clutter from my apartment. 

It is not even a one day at a time motto, my motto is one moment at a time. In this moment that I am presently in, am I enjoying all that there is to enjoy; am I present; is it enough?