Don't hold yourself back.

This will be my first post since my introduction. Well ... not really. I've done one post since then, but I deleted it soon after posting it. I was so nervous that it wasn't good enough, or it wasn't long enough. I checked the grammar a million and one times trying to make it perfect. I stressed over if it was engaging; if anyone would read it.
I let those worries eat at me to the point that I was paralyzed. Every time I tried to write a post I would feel this wave of anxiety rush over me. So I would back away from the keyboard and forget about blogging for a few days. Then something would make me think ... WOAH I should blog about this. 
And the cycle would start over again.
Recently I've had this push to .. just do it. Start writing, see where it takes me. If the post is boring or terrible people will probably just ignore it and move on with their day. But if I don't post at all I won't get any better. 
So here I am writing a blog, seeing where it'll take me. My goal is to try and post each week, whether the post is short, or boring. I'll write it, edit it, and post it. Then I'll move onto the next thing. I won't sit and dwell on my mistakes, or the possibility of someone not liking what I have to say. Because if I live in constant fear of someone disagreeing with me I may never speak again.

While I'm on the subject of just doing things, and not over thinking them; I may as well tell you where this sudden push is coming from. 
We recently had to put my cat down. The cat my mother recently posted about. He wasn't getting better, and his quality of life was compromised. The veterinarians did everything they could but they couldn't stabilize him. So last night we made the decision to put him down. 
I stayed with him the whole time, petting him and comforting him until he stopped breathing. I am going to miss him of course, but I'm not devastated in the way I thought I'd be. I've decided to take a lesson from him.
I'm going to live my life in the best way I can. No second guessing and giving my love every chance I get. I began applying this lesson last night, when I decided I needed to paint. (Something I tend to over plan) So I painted, I just did it, and I felt satisfied. I'm also completing a sewing project today, and reading a comic my dad gave me. I'm not going to over think a crazy detailed schedule for my day, as I am wont to do. I'm going to do what I feel I want to in the moment I'd like to do it. 
I'm doing this even now, as I write this blog.
I'm just going to do it, and I will be satisfied.