One Year - 366 Days

One year ago today, despite my fear of change, I made a major change in my life. 366 days ago I ended my marriage and struck out in an apartment all on my own. You see, with the exception of my freshman year of college, I never really lived on my own. And freshman year really doesn't count does it? There were no bills to pay, just a tiny one room and bathroom to keep clean. 

After my Freshman year I got an apartment with my husband (then Fiance), a year later we moved into his mother's condo (which she never really moved out of) and a year after that we bought our house.  

I lived in that house for almost 15 years. It was, when I bought it a dream of mine. I could see how it would fix up nicely. I could see the new custom kitchen, the bathroom with jacuzzi tub, the cleaned up and usable basement, restored trim and a lovely yard with front and back gardens. We even had roughly $7k to get started on renovations. Unfortunately, that $7k was used almost exclusively to "renovate" the attic into a Man Cave. 

The work was me and my Dad alone, and I had to scrimp and save to buy $200 worth of materials every 6 months or so, OR use my birthday gifts and "share" of the tax return to buy materials. We (I) picked out colors, he said he didn't care, then he went out to get the colors and bought a 5 gallon pail of tan instead because it was cheaper. And that was the beginning of the death of my dreams. 

At every turn he would agree to my design plans and then he would go with the cheapest possible option. Projects went incomplete, because it was dependent on me taking care of 2 children 24/7 and using my weekends with my Dad (who worked full time +) to complete project after project. Then when I went back to work I was to use my weekends and time off to finish repairs. I was still responsible for the kids when I wasn't at work. 

I had lost most of my friends. I could rarely go out, because I always had to bring the children with me, drop them off at my parents (which was usually 30 minutes out of the way from where I was headed) or hire a babysitter to watch them at the house. Surprisingly, no one would come watch my kids at the house while there father hid out in the attic. 

At one point, desperate or adult interaction I started hosting dinner parties. I have so many GREAT memories of those dinner parties. Beth, Chris, Josh, Todd, Sarah, Matt, Matt, Jenn, Tom and even people that would be brought by other attendees. We made many fun dinners (everyone brought a dish, and everyone took a turn at cooking). After dinner we played board games, cards, watched movies and on occasion just had great conversation. Those became awkward as he would come down grab a plate and retreat to the attic. People began to feel as though they were invading his domain. The company became sparse and then stopped all together. 

I tried my hand at several direct sales businesses (to bring in extra cash), but never made ANY money and incurred quite a bit of debt. In the early days I would drop the kids off at my Mom's in the later days I was able to bring them with me. 

I tried to find coffee clubs, community organizations, but could never quite find anything that I could consistently attend. 

I was lonely. I should not have been lonely, after all I was "happily" married (or so I would tell everyone I met).

Then something amazing happened. The stress of trying to do it all started to get to me, and I was cracking. I was not able to do my job, and to keep my boss happy. She fired me. I applied for unemployment and began my job search. He was also supposed to start a job search (he did not). There were few jobs and all for less then half my last salary. I applied for them anyways. I was turned down as to qualified and likely to keep looking and move on. 

Onondaga School of Therapeutic Massage was across the street from Rochester Works (where I was mandated to report for workshops and open interviews in order to receive my unemployment).  I had wanted to go to massage school for a while. I had thought about attending their evening program (18 months) after my youngest graduated high school. I had looked into the program some years back. 

After a particularly time wasting workshop on how to write a resume (a copy of which was laughed at by 3 head hunters as the MOST unprofessional resume they had ever seen, but submitted as required for my unemployment) I stopped in to OSTM to see what options I might have. After doing my research I informed the ex that I would not get ANY funding for retraining, but I could apply for permission to retrain while collecting my unemployment. I also informed him that my benefits would possibly run out in the midst of my program. He agreed and thought it was a good idea. The week I began my program all extensions to unemployment were cancelled. 

While in massage school an instructor said something like: Many people come to massage school to help other people and learn that they are really there to help themselves. Several times at Massage School I was brought to tears. I met wonderful people (my 6 month program buddies, and so many people in the 12 month program - we did Sciences together).  I learned just how alone I felt, how unsupported I felt and how unhappy I was in my marriage.

 Several other things happened between my graduating massage school and my decision to rent my own apartment, but ALL of them had me feeling like I was alone in my marriage and the ONLY value I had to my ex was my ability to pay the bills and take care of the children. 

I evaluated, I even changed my mind (only to come face to face with how alone I was again), I was scared. 

What if I couldn't make it on my own?

What if I couldn't take care of my children?

What if I failed at my business?

What if I failed my Boards?

What if....?

I couldn't make it as part of the marriage. I had incurred $30k in credit card debts waiting for my ex to grow up and significantly contribute to our lives. I didn't take elaborate vacations (or really many vacations of any sort - except those my mother took me and the kids on and paid for), I didn't buy clothes (for me, I did buy the kids clothes and shoes), I didn't buy jewelry. I DID try to start several businesses to make 2 full time salaries (my full time salary for my day job and a full time salary (as promised by ALL direct sales/MLM companies) in a few hours, a few days a week). 

I couldn't take care of my children as part of the marriage. I was teaching them marriage was about two unhappy adults, one adult who does everything and the other adult who does what they want to do. I couldn't provide for them, consistently I was relying on credit cards, gifts of money, and my share of the tax return to pay bills, buy necessities and give them birthday/Christmas gifts. 

I couldn't run my own business while in the marriage. ALL of my failed Direct Sales attempts showed that. 

I passed my Boards. 

A year later, I realize how much damage I took to my self esteem, and confidence levels. 

A year later, I have been on welfare (SNAP - which ends officially this month, 10 months after being approved). I nearly lost my home (I still owe my landlord 1.5 months of rent). I don't have a car. I am living off my tax return and waiting for my divorce to be final.  

I am still angry, I am still sad, I still do not want to be friends with my ex, I have lost friends who I didn't think I would lose.

I do know that he is not the bad guy. I am not the bad guy. We just had different views of what a marriage was and what OUR marriage should be. We had different views of what it meant (means) to be a parent and how to raise our children. 

Maybe some day we will be friends, and maybe not. 366 days is a long time, but it is also a short time. 1 year on my own, learning who I am and what I want from life. I spent nearly 19 years trying to be something for someone else. Maybe if I had known who I was 19 years ago this would be a different story. 

Happy Easter!

It is Easter and I am sitting here waiting for the kids to come home.  Last Easter I was just starting out on starting over. It is not quite a year, I have two more days to go. 

One of the things I previously mentioned was being prepared for Christmas, but it is not enough to just be prepared for Christmas. I like the Holidays, all the Holidays, even the Hallmark Holidays. Now if the only time to you show someone that they are important to you is the Holidays, then it probably isn't enough. The Holidays remind us to show people what they truly mean to us. We live in a consumer society and that means spending money on people to show them how much they mean to us. 

This can be a bit of a gerbil wheel. Always running behind, running around last minute to TRY to catch up, never quite getting caught up. Running just fast enough to not tumble and fall.

That is how I always feel. Something I am choosing to work on going forward is looking ahead. For example what is coming up in April?

Well there is April Fool's Day, Lulu's 18th Birthday, hopefully her next fight..... 

Typically on photo holidays (you know the ones you like to take photos throughout the days events; unwrapping presents on Christmas, egg/basket hunts, birthday candles....) I run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to clean everything up to make it LOOK like I am always neat and clean. The truth is I am NOT. 

Originally, I planned on spending yesterday (a day alone) cleaning, cleaning and cleaning some more. The problem was that I didn't want things to appear clean, I want them to truly BE clean. No more half hearted jobs, that make more work for me in the end. 

Later today the kids will call and tell me that they are walking over from their Dad's, I will hide eggs, and I will take photos unashamed of how my HOME looks. Then we will call my mother and she will pick us up for dinner at her house. Nothing special some pork tenderloin, stuffed mushrooms and veggies. On the way home I am going to have her stop at Wegmans so I can pick up Borax and Washing Soda. Borax is a natural deodorant and really helps get cat pee odors out of laundry. Besides that the two are powerhouse cleaning agents. 

The rest of this week will be spent starting my SPRING CLEANING. I won't be done in a week, I don't know when I will be done, but I'll know I'm done when my house is clean. I don't think clutter is a bad thing, but I need to tackle the dust and animal fur that has taken over my home. While I am at it, I am going to begin on some of the improvements to the apartment. 

I have not given up my search for my ideal space, but while I am here, I am going to make this the BEST place for ME to live. I do plan to chronicle my progress and who knows maybe I'll have a nack for flipping apartments.

How are YOU spending your Easter Sunday? Do you know the history of Easter and the Easter Egg? 

However, you are spending your day I hope it is with Love, Laughter, Family and Joy!
  

Frugal Fridays

More food waste in my home, food waste is financially killing me. Since my last food waste update I have thrown out:

Grapes - like two pint baskets worth. Sam and I went to the market on Thursday of last week and we picked up a few things. Grapes were one of them. I have noticed the last few times I have purchased grapes I have thrown them out. I wonder if it because they are not in season and the flavor or texture is lacking. Going forward I will purchase smaller amounts of grapes (that are local and in season) and make sure to use them up before they go bad. 

Hubbard Squash - I went all season and didn't see a single Hubbard squash which Lu and I love (Sam is not a fan) and then finally one weekend (well out of season) I found one. It was huge. I never got around to cooking it. Sadly it started to mold. I tossed the remains in the side garden (next to the house foundation) and now all I can hope is that the seeds fruit.

Cantaloupe - Sam really prefers Honeydew to Cantaloupe. The watermelon we managed to eat but it was pretty lack luster flavor wise. One of the cantaloupes was eaten the other went bad. 

Right now I have a bunch of broccoli to save. I think I will blanch it all today and freeze it for future use.  There are Asian Pears (some will need to be thrown away) that I need to chop and freeze (could be good in Kale Ale Smoothies, or in my trials to make the puff pancake I am sharing). The apples look good and there is a knob of ginger that is wrinkling, so maybe I'll make some Ginger Lemon-aid that I saw on Facebook.

Speaking of Facebook I often see videos for foods in my feed and I think I wonder if I can make that Gluten Free and then Lu safe. Usually I make a comment or like them thinking I can find them again later (but usually cannot). I am going to try pinning them instead. 

So I watched this video and decided I wanted to make this Gluten Free. Two reasons I have left over GF Pancake Mix that neither Sam or I particularly enjoy. It is grainy. So I figured worse case scenario was that I wasted the ingredients to the dish. Knowing that a Dutch Baby is a light and fluffy pancake I decided to make the dough thinner than the directions called for. 

Since I was using a small cast iron skillet I used 1/2 an Asian pear (because they are getting soft), I cooked it in a pat of organic butter and made used a drizzle of honey and spoon of coconut sugar. Then when the pear was caramelized I DID NOT remove it from the pan and wipe the pan down. Instead I just added coconut oil to the pan and while that melted I turned on my oven and mixed my batter. I can't tell you what brand the GF Pancake mix is, my mother purchased it from BJs a while ago and the cat tore the packaging. I poured the mix into jars and wrote out the directions. The package directions called for 1 c of mix, 1/2 c of milk (increased to 1 c to make the batter thinner), 1 egg and 1 TBPS of oil. I did not add oil to the mix as I had 1 T of oil in the pan. I mixed the ingredients and added cinnamon, clove, ginger and vanilla extract. Poured into the pan and put in the oven at 350 for 20 minutes. 

The result was tasty, fluffy like a cake (not as airy as a Dutch Baby should be) BUT most importantly not at all grainy. Sam has yet to try it, but we shall see. (Update - Sam tried the skillet panCake and stated that it was all right).  I think adding a second egg (and whipping the eggs before adding to the mix might help. So that is what I will try next time. Once I have perfected the recipe then I'll work on making it Lu safe.

Monday Money Matters - Pinterest Pick

This Pinterest Pin promises that I can make money in my spare time. Most people are looking for ways to make money in their spare time, and I am no exception. The pin takes me to a site title Work From Home Happiness. According to the article I can make money by doing micro tasks. The pay ranges from $0.01 to $7.00 per task. There is little information about the tasks listed (I have to create accounts to gain access to that information). Sure micro tasks shouldn't take long and can add up quickly, but I am looking for something more reliable.

As for my current money making projects I have come to realize I need to devote more specific time to my massage practice in order to grow it. So I will be setting myself up with "office hours". This simply means if I am not massaging during those hours I am doing something to promote my business.

I haven't put anything up on the Facebook Auction sites in a few weeks. The reason being is that it is time consuming. I have to take the photos, transfer them, list them with descriptions and then if I list 10 items I sell maybe 5 and of those 5 maybe 3 come through. Additionally the sites keep changing the rules (weekly) and I am a stickler for the rules. One of the groups was called "Quarter Auction Mania" and the bids started at a quarter and moved up in quarter increments. It is a double edged sword. Because items start at a quarter one can list small trinkets that would normally sell at a garage sale for a quarter, but then people have second thoughts about making a 10 or 15 minute drive to pickup a single quarter item. With the other group the bids start at whatever the person chooses and go up in quarter increments. The items that I have sold on the second group have all been picked up, but I tend to sell less. I'll keep listing items this week and see how it goes. The weather is looking up so it might just be time to start having a few garage sales.

In my area I can have 3 garage sales a year (more than that and we have to have permits and tax licenses). The issues I struggle with for holding a garage sale are:
1. I am no longer on a main drag, I am on a side street off that same main drag
2. I no longer have a driveway to set up in, nor do I have a sufficient front yard to set up in.

•        I could trek out to my friend's home and join her for a garage sale or two, but I have to drive all the way out there (and I don't have a car) and I have to pack a bunch of stuff and find tables.  
•        I could ask the landlord about setting up in the driveway of the house that is being renovated right behind me, but I personally would wonder about the person and the items being sold at a sale at an abandoned house.
•       I could try for one of the public market garage sale days, but then I have to pay a space fee $50 (I believe) AND get all my stuff and tables to the Market for sale. 

I think my best bet for a garage sale is simply to set up in the small space I have in front of my place and hope for the best. 

The other thing to take into consideration is if all I have left is piddly little items is it worth selling them? Would I be better served to donate them (would any organization want them) or give them away?

Wellness Wednesday - Walking

Walking. Even if I still had a car I would do a considerable amount of walking. Ruffalo likes to take long and meandering walks and so does Sampson. 

However, now that I find myself without a car (and for longer than I had anticipated) I am learning just how "walkable" my neighborhood is (or in reality is not). Wegmans is 2.3 miles from my home. Tops is slightly closer (2.1 miles) but I find their selection not good. There is a Price Rite even closer (1.4 miles) but again I dislike their selection and am not satisfied with their quality of meats. The Public Market is the closest at 1.3 miles, and when ALL the vendors are there I can do a vast majority of my shopping there. Yesterday (Tuesday) I walked up to find there were maybe a dozen vendors and NONE of the vendors I like to shop from. The produce was not looking great. There is talk about building an Aldi's which hopefully will be like the Aldi's in Webster (which I love but cannot walk to and from). Once built it will be my closest and hopefully BEST option. Hart's is 2.5 miles and the Co-op is roughly 3 miles. The Co-op is moving farther from me (not sure when) and that is a long distance to walk back with groceries. 

I do enjoy walking (except when the weather is not cooperating). I don't mind a little cold or even a slight rain, but temps below 20 and/or heavy rains make for an unpleasant experience. Walking however is GREAT for everyone. The human body was designed to walk long distances in bare feet. It was only designed to run for short distances if our lives where in danger. 

I used to be a runner. I loved to lace up my shoes, put the dog on his lead and run until my head was clear and I could barely move. I am now paying the price for that with creaking ankles, hips and knees. Running is no longer an option for me. 

Being WELL is not about a number on the scale (and I couldn't tell you my number because I intentionally don't have a scale), it is about feeling good, being easily mobile and generally having energy.  I know I am not at a healthy weight because movement is not as easy as it should be, I do tire AND most importantly I don't like what I see when I look in a mirror. 

I am going to take advantage of being car less and get more walking in. I thought about using the bus system, and Sampson and I will try to make that work for us, but it is going to require a lot of walking. If the walking route is within 15-20 minutes of the "bus" route then Sampson and I will just walk. To even take a bus Sampson and I have to walk to the bus station downtown (roughly a 3 mile walk from here) and then catch a bus to outlying areas. Most places we want to go are withing 3 ish miles from us so it makes sense to just build up our tolerance and walk. 

I also plan to get our bikes up and running and then figure out panniers or baskets. 

Walking is incredibly healthy and for me a side effect of not currently having a car. 

Time Management Tuesday

Does it ever seem to you that the MORE time you have the LESS you get done? I have always known I worked better under pressure and with a deadline. This is something I would like to change about myself. So I am going to try to keep working on tasks based on the time I have in my day, not based on a deadline. 

This week I was better with my time management. I am STILL not caught up on the dishes, laundry, litter boxes or general housework. I AM making improvements and taking baby steps. For example:

In the past when the dishes would pile up to the point of no return I would spend a hour or more washing ALL the dirty dishes (and drying what I needed to be able to keep washing). Then of course that evening I would wash the dinner dishes so as to avoid the same mess. Then I would find my kitchen ransacked by teenagers and I would feel defeated and give up. NOW my strategy is to not use clean dishes. Instead I use dirty dishes, wash them for my use, and wash them when I am done. As a bonus I use the soap and water I have to wash a few other dishes as well. It is working. My stack of dirty dishes is less day by day and I feel MORE in control of the dish situation. 

The Laundry situation is a little bit trickier. Because I do not have a dryer I cannot just bang out several loads of laundry. I am limited by the space I have to hang laundry and the clothespins I have. (Solution to the clothespins is to purchase more - which I will do today when we walk to the Public Market). The only solution to the laundry situation is to keep up with a single load a day. I do however need to make a run to a laundromat in the near future to wash all the blankets (spring clean), so that would be a good excuse to get completely caught up on my laundry. 

AS for the Litter Boxes? I just have to knuckle down and keep scooping. I have to clean the third box out and get it set back up. Completely cleaning and emptying the boxes is now my Tuesday chore. I do so when I finish my blog post (it inspires me). 

The rest of the house? It is a work in progress. I find myself taking items out of the living room when I leave and finding their temporary or real home. I find myself collecting dust bunnies as I walk up the stairs to the bathroom. I find myself evaluating how I can be better organized and questioning the value of many items in my life.

This was the living room last week when I wrote Time Management Tuesday

The other side of the room last week

This tote of paper is from Christmas, I had plans for it but never got around to them so I did throw it way, the shoes are old and have only been worn a handful of times. I cleared out the shoe cabi behind the tote and put the shoes away.

This is the room when I was finished. I swept and folded the mountain of laundry that was in the chair.

Other side of the room.

This is the room today. Laundry is not out of control but there is a basket of socks and "projects" to deal with

This side actually looks decent.....

 I have cleared out half a dozen small items from my life using the Facebook groups that allow me to sell used items. I will continue to do so until I no longer find myself cluttered. 

Fear is still limiting what I choose to do. I have projects that I think I can tackle, and I gather materials and I make plans, but that sick feeling in my stomach won't go away and I fail to start the project. I am working on changing the way I see myself and being kinder. This includes reminding myself that the ONLY failure is a failure to try. Everything else is a lesson to be learned or a success waiting to happen. 

The chairs and ottoman are one of those projects that I need to tackle. I have been blessed with hand me down furniture (never owned a new anything in my life).  It was all in better shape when I received it 10+ years ago. So now it is time to recover this furniture. Recovering it was ALWAYS the plan. I wanted to make it "Match".  I have an old slip cover that has been torn up by cats (not mine - it came on the one bird chair when I received it). My plan is to start with the brown rocker (because it is the biggest) and use that slip cover to create a pattern, then move on to the bird chair and finally flower chair. This way I can alter the pattern down with each chair. 

The Brown Chair was built by my Opa and covered by my Oma. The fabric is in relatively good condition.  It is soft and velvety, but that is not good with pets as it is a fur magnet and honestly I have NEVER been a big fan of the color. The chair base is broken, so I'll need a trip to the Home Depot or Fabrics and Findings in order to locate Queen Anne legs (to match the other chairs) and then I can recover it. I have pinned a couple of new sew tutorials, and I'll review them and see which is my BEST source and share the photos as I work. 

Next to the massage chair you might have noticed some fabric on the floor. That is a pillow form that no longer matches anyone's style (and it has a stain on it). So my plan is to use the black ripped pants to create a background and then try my hand at a peacock pattern... we'll see how it comes out. Hopefully, by my next Time Management post I'll have some progress on one of those TWO projects to share. 

What are your time management challenges? Do you ever feel paralyzed by the fear of failure? What is on your project list?

Another Frugal Friday

Since my last Frugal Friday post I have contributed the following to food waste:
4 leathery pomegranates (I just wasn't comfortable with how they looked)
4 jalapeno peppers
2 oranges from fresh bags that had mold on them
5 old leathery sour oranges 
1 grocery bag of greens
4 c of cooked rice
2 small bits of lemon/lime

Had I seen the post on FACEBOOK or PINTEREST earlier I would have happily turned my citrus and pomegranates into a frozen ring of bird food.  But alas it popped up after I had already trashed the foods.

Food waste is not currently my biggest frugal fight. 

Is being carless frugal? I guess that depends on where you live. Where I live it is cold (sometimes dangerously so) from as early as late October through late March with mild and even warm days in between. 

More specifically my particular neighborhood touts itself as a "walkable" neighborhood. I have been trying to figure out what exactly that means. Yes we have sidewalks. But from my house the nearest food sources are 2 corner stores and a dollar general. There is also some sort of corner grocery store but it is dirty and I don't trust it, and a German Sausage Shop. To walk to the evil W is 3 miles (each way), to walk to Tops is 2.7 miles (each way), the public market it 1.4 miles (each way) and with the cold temperatures is unreliable as far as vendors. I am not equipped to walk in temperatures below 10 degrees for more than a mile.  And it seems that everything is roughly at least one mile from my house. 

Right now not having a car is not frugal for me. I have to rely on someone else to take me to Aldis (which has the best prices for my current budget) and I feel like I am wasting their time so I try to go as quickly as I can and I always forget something. 

Public Transportation, is a joke. With the build of the NEW downtown Transit Station routes are less useable and more expensive. Routes have been cut in half (with a stop at the new transit station that requires a second fare to continue on the same route that you used to just continue on through. In order to go anywhere I have to plan on 1-2 hours of travel time (most of which I am walking myself) and $5-10 in round-trip fares. And that is if I don't take Sampson with me. Most of the time it would take the same amount of time to walk the distance as to ride the bus (and really I walk most of the distance as I have to catch different busses to get where I am going) so as long as the weather cooperates I'd rather walk. But alas the weather has not been uber cooperative as of late. 

I am hopeful that it is nice enough to walk to the Market tomorrow and that vendors are there. Fortunately, my Saturday contract is up and I can spend a little more time at the market. So I am hoping that I can start getting 90% of my shopping done at the Public Market. I know I can get eggs, meat (ethically sourced), produce (local), and even some prepackaged items. Sadly the harvest season is not upon us so my choices will be limited. 

It is time to start turning the heat back down. This is the time of year where the cold has started reaching my bones and I like to keep the temps up at 68 all day long. Earlier in the season I was comfortable keeping it at 63. So it is time to gradually reduce the temps. Nothing higher than 66 this week and 65 next week, so on and so forth. 

Mother Nature a word please.... SPRING! 

Thankful Thursday

I think that being Thankful for what we have one Thursday a year is part of the problem society as a whole is facing. Especially, since we celebrate the generosity and kindness of a group of people (Native Americans) who helped the early English settlers only to have those same people turn around and take, take, take leaving the Native Americans a decimated group with only the shoddiest of land holdings (you know the lands the European Settlers didn't want anyway). 

So instead I choose to be Thankful everyday. Everyday there is something to be thankful for, however American society often takes for granted all that we have and lusts for the thing(s) that we do not. 

Thankful for food for myself and my children. Thankful for my SNAP benefits to allow me to provide food for myself and my children. Thankful for the Friends of the Public Market program that gives me bonus coupons at the Public Market allowing me to stretch my food dollars further and afford good food for my kids. Thankful that I am healthy and capable of walking since I don't have a car. Thankful that I have friends (near and far) who love and offer support. 

Despite how Thankful I am, I still have bad days and days when I am sad. I can acknowledge all that I have around me, but it doesn't change the way I feel inside. Some days I would trade everything I had for a little fairness in life. After all life isn't fair. Sometimes it knocks you down and drags you along. Sometimes when you get up you find the Universe was trying to tell you something and you just weren't listening. Other times you get up and realize you are no better off than you were before.

Today is one of those days. A day where despite all that I have I am sad. Sad that no matter what I do I cannot make things fair for my children. 

Thankfully, tomorrow is another day and I can simply wait it out.

Tooth Powder for Wellness Wednesday

So a few weeks back, when I had access to a car and some extra funds, I headed over to Abundance Co-op to pick up some supplies that I can only get there (or on the internet and I prefer to support a local business over Amazon).

I have not been happy with toothpaste for a long time. Even the supposedly "natural" toothpastes have ingredients in them I am not happy with. When I moved out (nearly 1 year ago) a friend of mine supplied me with a care package, which included commercial toothpaste. So we used it. I just wasn't happy.

I have done oil pulling off an on (more on that next week) but often I am just too lazy to oil pull and I'd rather just spend the 3-5 minutes brushing my teeth. Over the years I have searched for a natural toothpaste that was palatable for Sampson but would meet mine and Lulu's requirements. The best toothpastes that I could find (without fluoride and/or harsh whitening ingredients) simply didn't cut the mustard for Sampson. 

So while at the co-op in the hygiene aisle something caught my eye. And in full disclosure I didn't pick it up and read the bottle OR the ingredients. There was something about the bottle that I liked (the different shape I suppose).

I was on a tight schedule so I dropped it into my basket with my other items (Apricot and Avocado oils) and checked out.  

At home I put it in the medicine cabinet and didn't give it another thought. Then I went to use it. When I pulled the seal off the top I discovered it was TOOTH POWDER. Check out Lulu's post on making your own simply tooth powder and whitening tooth powder here. 

The first ingredient in this product is Sodium Bicarb (aka Baking Soda)

This box of Baking Soda cost me less than $1 and the tooth powder more than $4

I could have saved myself some money and just used Baking Soda to brush my teeth with! Now, if your handy on the interwebs a quick search will reveal to you that Baking Soda is bad for your teeth because it is TOO abrasive. If you are smart you'll keep reading and discover that the American Dental Association has paid for the research that concludes that Baking Soda is too abrasive for your teeth. Baking Soda is a "soft" abrasive. 

Now I am not a medical professional nor am I a dentist, but I did study Anatomy and Physiology while at Massage School. One of the neat little facts we learned was that your teeth are made of the same substance as your bones, and that enamel (the substance that covers your teeth) is the strongest/hardest substance in the human body. Why tell people baking soda is bad for enamel? Likely to keep dentists in business and fool people into thinking that flouride is good for them. But this is just my PERSONAL OPINION.

Anyhoo, the other ingredients include various essential oils, ground silica (WAIT! WHAT!) and guar gum. So I'll use this product up, then likely keep the bottle for my own simple tooth powder (Baking Soda with an essential oil (Clove or Peppermint)).

The reason essential oils are added to Baking Soda is two fold. Primarily it is to make the powder more palatable. BS is salty. Some essential oils are also antibacterial and therefore add to the power or the powder. 

I've used the charcoal powder and it's OK, but I'd rather just use Baking Soda powder and oil pulling. Both of which over time will whiten teeth. The reason teeth need whitening is because toothpaste isn't doing its job and residue is being left on teeth and leaving them with the appearance of stains. Using an effective tooth powder or oil pulling will (over time 6-8 weeks) brighten your smile without the expense of fancy chemical or laser whitening processes. 

What do you brush your teeth with?

Tooth-powder

It has been awhile ... like weeks ... woah. (Edited by Momma on 3/2/16. Lyssa was waiting for me to grab some photos and I kept misplacing the cord to my camera to load pictures onto the computer, so better late than never, and on a Wellness Wednesday no less.)
Life has definitely been busy lately. Mom got back to work and is trying to build up a business for massage, maybe we can get some posts about stress relief in. I've been fight training, and doing that required thing called school. Yippee.

I figured it's been all too long since our last post, and while mom is super busy doing work I can post some short blurbs with recipes. Such as today's which is a homemade tooth-powder. ONWARD!

A couple of months ago I began to notice that I was getting little tiny breakouts in the corners of my mouth. Attractive, I know. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I was eating well, drinking water, using natural products on my face. Then one day I got an extremely unsightly blemish on my forehead. (Again, attractive, I know.) So I decided to do the well known put some toothpaste on it over night trick.

I woke up the next morning, and to my teenage hormonal horror I had three blemishes where the old on once stood. It was like the ghost of zits past had attacked me ... lovely. Then as I accepted the reality that I would be going outside with the Triforce on my face I came to a realization. Maybe ... just maybe ... something in the toothpaste was reacting with my skin.

I decided to hunt the Internet for an alternative until my mother bought a new tube of toothpaste. I came across the concept of tooth powder. It's literally powder for your teeth. One of the most popular DIY tooth-powders was baking soda with some sort of essential oil in it. I tried it for the next few days, and almost immediately the breakouts on my mouth cleared up.

I loved it so much that I didn't even try the new toothpaste my mom got, and continued use of the powder.

One day while browsing the inter webs I came across a blog post talking about how charcoal could be used to whiten teeth. Not the charcoal that you find in a fire pit though ... please don't whiten your teeth with the charcoal in the fire ... It was activated charcoal which specialized in pulling impurities from what it comes in contact with.

I danced with joy at the prospect of a tooth whitening substance that wasn't abrasive to tooth enamel, unlike peroxide, lemon, mouth wash, and laser whitening.

The only drawback is it's effects aren't immediate. It takes a few weeks, but it's worth it.

So after a long introduction here's the recipe:

1 tablespoon baking soda

3-4 capsules of Activated Charcoal (found as a health supplement in stores)
Essential oil (I usually use Peppermint)

Mix those all together in a resealable container. Keep in a dry place.

To use it, you literally use it as you would regular toothpaste. It is dry to begin with, but eventually it'll turn to a black liquid in your mouth. Brush for a few minutes then admire your demonic teeth in the mirror.

Try to brush and spit as much of the mixture as possible ... because it tastes gross.

Now wasn't that just a post full of absolutely lovely imagery. You're welcome.

March 1, 2016 - Time Management Tuesday

Today is the first day, of the last month, of the first quarter of 2016. The beginning of the month is a great time to take a moment and take stock. Look at your goals, look at your progress and your downfalls. Decide what is important and what is not. 

Today, I begin a journey to end the first quarter of 2016 in a positive way. I will have a cleaner, more organized home by the end of March 2016. I will accomplish this by finding what tasks need to be done daily, and tackling one deep cleaning (aka spring cleaning) task a day. 

In a previous Time Management Tuesday post I mentioned knowing that I needed to clean the litter boxes 2x per day. I have been doing better, but am still not keeping up. So today I will clean out the third litter box (in the basement) and get it back in rotation. I will also clean the boxes after I eat lunch. 

A major issue in my household is that dishes simply don't get done. I kept coming home to a counter and a kitchen full of dirty dishes. I would vow to get caught up on the dishes (and even get caught up) only to turn around and find all the dishes dirty again. My solution to this is simple. Or more specifically to simply. I am going to find a set of dishes that comes in 3 colors (Black, Teal and Purple). Each person in my household will be assigned a color. They may ONLY use their own color. This way there will be no question of who is responsible for the dirty dishes. 

I also plan to simplify my glassware collection. I will check my storage jars for lids. If I don't have a lid and it isn't what I want for a drinking glass in the recycling bin it will go. 

My plastic ware is going to meet with the same scrutiny. 

I will bring the kitchen and the struggle that is dishes to heel in my household.

Another daily task in my household must be doing a load of laundry. I do not have a dryer so my clothes must be hung to dry. There is limited space to do so. Although I do plan to get the clothesline back up in the back yard this year. I do have room in both the attic (good in the summer) and basement (good in the winter).

Taking an item that doesn't belong and putting it away EVERY time I leave the room should also help. 

The universe has seen to it that I need to stay in my current abode through at least August. Since the issues that I have with this space were mainly related to the heat (and that has been resolved) I can make this space work until August. But I tell you I will never again live somewhere with pull cord lights, and I will always check the water pressure in all the sinks and toilet BEFORE renting again. 

I am determined to make the most of it and to make this a much better apartment for when I leave it. 

The universe has also directed me to remaining car less for at least a little while longer. I am going to look into whether or not there is a car share program in my area (because sometimes it is just handy to have a car) and rental rates. I know I can rent from Enterprise for $9 per day Friday to Sunday. So I might just do that twice a month. Knowing that I will have a car and the ability to run my errands I am hoping lifts some of my stress. 

There has been no new news on the divorce front, but I have accepted that this is something that is outside of my personal control. 

How about you? How is the first quarter of your year looking?